I'm Just Sayin'

There are many resources out there in today's world. Here is just one article with facts and myths about suicide that I found in less than 5 minutes of searching... http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20507781,00.html   I think it's important for people, especially in the days of social media to do some research before getting on the internet and stating things as facts when they are either completely wrong or just opinions.  Suicide is one of the things that is so often ster eotyped, and that is hurting people not helping them.  For example, saying that all suicides are caused by clinical depression is wrong, it also makes people afraid to admit they have thought about it, or gone through a rough patch.  The only fact about suicide is that when people do it they are doing it for one reason, and that is,   a way out,  that's it. A way out of pain, a way out of a situation, a way out of a life they don't want.  It's a permanent solution to...

I chose this photo just because the book I am working on now is set in a private school, well that and a hospital, and the city of Boston.  :)  I love photos and just like to have them in my posts. I have never thought about killing off my characters more than, this is what I need to tell this story. It has to happen. I don’t sit down and say, “hrm? How can I make people cry?” Or “I want to write a boo-hoo (as a fellow author friend of mine calls them) book.” I went to a book signing and talk last night that a friend and fellow author was giving for her book-All The Bright Places- (Jennifer Niven). It was great, and I love supporting my friends, and great books. What was especially cool was sitting in the room with about 100 teenages. Watching their reactions to the book and how the book made them feel really hit home with me. I thought. Oh. My. God. “They are going to hate me, I kill of characters in every book.” They didn’t hate Jennifer, but a lot of them wer...

Okay anyone who went to highschool or who lives in the real world, read  Thirteen Reasons Why -I am planning to blog about this book on both my blogs-But I will say this, unless you were homeschooled, this is the shit that goes on in high school and sadly even as adults. Not everyone commits suicide, but what people do and say does impact others period. I honestly believe this book should be require d reading in the 9th grade (maybe 10th) starting now. I'll post the blog links when I get to them, I am being more thoughtful about them than my usual ramblings because of the subject matter-so it's just a question of time. And I know this book is a few years old, I didn't read it for a lot of reasons, mostly because when I read the title I said to my friend in the bookstore "shit this is about a girl who kills herself, I think I need to wait"....so I waited. I kept picking it up at Barnes and Noble and carrying it around and then ultimately putting it back. It...

Okay so the saddest news went around the globe yesterday and we all learned that our beloved Robin Williams took his own life. It's beyond tragic, but the first thing that popped into my head wasn't anything nasty like, "suicide is selfish" or "why would he do that, he had everything?" Just some of the posts I have seen on social media in the last day. The first thing that popped into my head was, "this is so sad, I wish he could have found a way to make the pain stop." I also know that the "funny" people are often the saddest. Humor is a way of coping with all the shit that happens in life. I have a motto, that which does not kill me, makes me funnier , and while that is meant humorous, it's really the truth. Some of you know and I have been so worried about sharing this information, but now I figure screw it, if it helps one person than it's worth any ridicule I may get. I drove to San Francisco in 2009 twice to jump off ...

http://edition.cnn.com/2014/06/27/health/golden-gate-suicide-barrier/ This is great news. The thing is, there is no way to guarantee someone won't take their life, but making it harder is a step in the right direction. For those of you following me for many years know that I was one of those people just 5 years ago. The pain of losing my brother, my mother and my father was in a home at the time not always knowing who I was and I was not working full time. It seemed like no matter what I tried to do, nothing changed and it was hard and I was in pain 24/7. So I drove up to jump NOT because I wanted to die, because I wanted the pain to stop. I also do not have a mental illness, but after 9 years of this sorrow and devastation that kept coming, I couldn't take it anymore. I stood on the bridge for 45 minutes crying and only one person stopped to talk to me, she asked for a photo. That said I didn't feel like people didn't care about me. I knew that I was leaving behind f...

It was five years ago today that I was standing on top of the Golden Gate Bridge looking down the 220 feet to the cold Bay below about to jump. I don't have a mental illness and I wasn't taking drugs of any kind, I was simply in search of a way out-the pain of losing my mother, my brother, my father being in a home not always knowing who I was AND my animation career stalling was too much for me. I couldn't take one more second of that pain. I thought about this for about a year before I decided to do it. It wasn't a spur of the moment thing. That day, I was having was the worst day of my life. Was it selfish? You bet your ass it was, I just said I was having the worst day of my life. I had it all planned out, I had letters to my loved ones in zip lock bags. I had left my dog with my roommate in Los Angeles with instructions on what to do, "just in case something happened to me" and I was set.  That was it, I was done. I couldn't take one more secon...