So I got a call from my doctor-no I do not have a thyroid issue-and no I do not have cancer-so yippee!! Nothing is wrong with me-maybe I am just getting old....eeek! Never I say never! Honestly it is what it is, and I couldn't be happier.
I started a new meditation today for 21 days with Deepok Chopra-well not with him directly, but on his site and it's pretty awesome so I am ready for things to change in my life. I am no longer going to focus on bad things or people.
I have given too much power to people who have made my life miserable and I am not 100% sure of why except that I have this need for everyone to like me and accept me. That is not realistic, but that's how I am built. I bend over backwards to please people who are never going to like me.
For example, my last boss-he hated me from the day he hired me, he bashed my work for 9 months, and threatened me, slandered me and basically made my life a living hell, and I allowed it because I was desperate for the job. This all said, I came in every day with a smile on my face and treated him with respect-the way I wanted to be treated, that never happened from him, but I still have my integrity. I felt sorry for him and kept believing it would change, it didn't, and I felt a sigh of relief that I can't explain when he said, "this is the end of the road for you here."
I did love that job despite all that drama, and everyone else there, so it was okay and I did 100% every single day, no matter what this person said to me. When he let me go, he yelled at me for about 10 minutes telling me that I was a horrible person and he hated me since the day he hired me and I had no talent. I think I actually laughed a little because it was so ridiculous. Since then I have gotten phone calls, emails and text messages continuing to tell me how horrible I am...well come on it's been three months, let it go.
I was letting this person get to me, even though I don't work there anymore-and that has to stop. Who cares if one person doesn't like me? That job was great and I made great friends, gained invaluable skills, met the love of my life there-so that is what I am taking from it now in my quest to be happy instead of sad, worried, fearful and full of anxiety-because frankly I just can't do it anymore. Life is too short and I am ready for the next great adventure and today with the start of great news about my health-I am ready for what's next!