Sunday, July 29, 2012

Americano? YUM

So I ran out of coffee about three days ago and have been so busy with this latest project that I haven't had time to leave the house and get more, I have been living on Yerba mate, but it's not the same.

I was scrounging in my apt and found a last Tassimo espresso disk, but I have no milk disks left for lattes or cappuccinos. What is a girl in need of a fix to do? Remembering that in places like Italy they think we are insane over here with "coffee"-they don't seem to understand it's a different bean-I remembered the "Americano" and thought to myself if I just filled the cup with hot water, I would have sort of a coffee.
Oh before I go on, I have to tall you, I was out of milk, so I only have non dairy dry creamer, which does NOT work in espresso, only coffee.
I did it!! And it was soooo YUMMY. I am excited that A) I got the coffee I needed and B) now I have a new drink.

Friday, July 20, 2012

"Who Would You Have Dinner With?"

In college and even some job applications that age old essay question always pops up: "Who would you have dinner with, dead or alive, if given the chance?"

In 10th grade, I answered Madonna because I thought she was strong, ambitious, smart and could do whatever she wanted. I admired her so much, and wanted to be like her in many ways-not a pop start-but I wanted to be like her spirit. I was living alone at the time (long story), and had really no one in my life to look up to and she was a role model to me.

In 12th grade we were asked the same question and again, I answered, Madonna for the same reasons. Although at this point I had moved in with my mother and my step-father, who hated me in high school. I was really close to my step-brother John, but still felt isolated and alone and Madonna symbolized someone who made it on her own, even though things were hard.

Throughout the years I have had many idols and of course that question has been asked of me in interviews and such. I even had to write an essay for a college application a few years back. There are lots of people who I would like to have dinner with.

Nora Ephron-for being a role model to me as a woman and as a writer. She changed the way I felt about romantic comedies and character.

Rick Allen of Def Leppard-for going on as a DRUMMER after losing his arm in a car accident.

Ron Howard-amazing director.

Woody Allen-the writing thing again.

Tom Cruise-he's hot, I admire his work and "why" Scientology Tom? Why?

But to be honest, the one person living or dead who I would want to have dinner with is my father.

He passed away on June 7th of this year and for the last 6 years he has been living a home with dementia. He was too far away for me to go see him and since work has been a Craps shoot-although I am great at Craps-I haven't been able to visit so I sent him cards every other day.

If I could have dinner with him I would tell him how much his death is destroying me inside day by day and how much I miss him. I would tell him how much I admire him for living through the war-WW2-as a teenager/sniper and going underground with the American army. I would tell him how much I admired him for always enjoying life and making the best even when things sucked. I would tell him that he was strong and noble and caring and everything I hope to be someday. I would apologize for not visiting him more and writing to him more before he got so sick. I would tell him that he changed who I am by leaving me and shaped who I am just for being my father. I would tell him how much those trips to Tasty-Freeze as a kid meant to me, and hanging out at the airport where he worked. I would tell him that I am sorry that I wasn't there and he was sad and I couldn't help him stop drinking. I would tell him how very sorry I am for every time he called and I didn't have time to talk to him because I was too busy with my life out here in California. I would tell him how much every one of those calls on my birthday at midnight meant to me, and New Year's Eve when he would call me twice, once at 9 pm pst-because that was when the ball actually dropped in NYC, and then again at midnight pst because that was when I was having my new year-I would tell him how much those calls meant to me. I would tell him that I love him. I would tell him how angry I am that he left me, and I would tell him that I miss him every second of every day.

That's who I would spend my dinner with, if given the chance.

My father. Just sayin'

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Allowing People To Act A Certain Way

Nobody can do anything to you that you don’t allow it. People treat you the way you treat yourself.

I allowed a friend to treat me terribly for about 4 years, everyone around kept asking why I was still friends with her. I mean EVERYONE, even the mailman and other people in the neighborhood were asking me, but I kept giving her chance after chance and thinking she would change.

She wasn't abusive or anything like that, but she brought being selfish to new heights and I am a little sad the friendship is now over-my father dying inconvenienced her and so I was done, I just couldn't take it anymore-because she isn't a bad person, just a selfish one.

I don't believe she did anything to me out of malice, but rather just didn't care-at all. She would constantly make me an option while I made her a priority, she talked behind my back to get attention from her friends-yes drama queen. She was just a child-really immature and she pouted about everything.

That said, I allowed it to go on, like a dog, I basically trained her, or taught her that it was okay to treat me like that, so I can hardly blame her. It's my own fault. That said my life is better without her in it, and I realized that it was just as much my fault as hers because I allowed it.


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

A Cold Day Where I Come From

Wouldn't it be fun to put on a scarf, hat, gloves and jacket on days like today when we are in the triple digits and mess with people? I can see it now. Walking down the street and saying ridiculous things like, "This is a cold day in Phoenix, when it drops below 110 we get out the winter gear." just to see the look on people's faces.
If I didn't get bloody noses, headaches, sick to my stomach and general passing out on days like today, I would do just that.
Ever notice in the winter, when it's 40 degrees and pissing down rain, some eegit from Chicago, or somewhere like that, always is wearing shorts and claiming "this is a hot day where I come from." News flash, 40 degrees is cold everywhere jerk.

Just sayin'

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Fake Meat? I Don't Get It!

I don't really understand fake meat, fake cheese, gluten free bread etc.-if you don't want to eat that stuff-don't, it's really simple-but swapping natural things for processed because it's "something free" doesn't make a whole lot of sense now doe it?

You hear people all the time saying things like, "I have been vegan and healthy my whole life, I have no idea how I got cancer, I mean, all I eat is fake meat, fake cheese, and low fat processed shit all the time." I mean, honestly, it's like the whole world has gone crazy.

When I am vegetarian, I don't eat meat-PERIOD-I don't have fake meat, I don't eat meat. I eat veggies, it's that simple.

I don't understand this obsession with low fat everything either, I mean, how does it become low fat? PROCESSING. How can that possibly be good for you? Soy milk? How is soy a milk? PROCESSING. Use your brain a little bit. Is it worth it to save 30-60 calories? Another way you could save those is, um, here's a thought-consume LESS, or walk more. It's not brain surgery here.

And what is the deal with gluten free? Is all of American suddenly allergic to gluten? Did we all get sick all at once? Come on! People, just because it's trendy doesn't mean it's healthy.

I personally don't eat a lot of gluten because I just don't like bread that much, pizza and stuff like that. For the record, I am not afraid of carbs, I just like veggies and salads more.

I don't mean to make anyone feel bad by writing this blog, but honestly just sit and think for a minute, how is eating processed fake meat and processed bread and processed non dairy mile healthier than just eating fresh veggies and skipping the meat and dairy?

I'm just sayin' folks-use your brain. Eat less, exercise more. Eat fresh and you'll be grand.