Thursday, December 31, 2009
Happy New Year! Happy New Decade!
Some things that made the last decade fabulous!
2000 ~ I lived in Australia
2001 ~ I belonged to Sports Club L.A.
2002 ~ I worked in Itlay
2003 ~ Published my first novel
2004 ~ Lived in Denmark
2005 ~ Published my second novel
2006 ~ Wrote my 3rd novel
2007 ~ Finished writing my own TV series & published 3rd novel
2008 ~ Wrote on popular TV show
2009 ~ Wrote first screenplay
Cheers to 2010-2020 being even more adventurous, exciting, fabulous and fun~
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Dear Jimmy, please forgive me.
I was weak, I didn't know what I was doing, I was all confused and even though these aren't as high class, refined, or stylized as you, I fell for them.
They are sexy, gorgeous and they love me. They lured me into taking them home after just a few minutes and I will be honest, I enjoyed it.
We spent the night together and I can't say that I won't do it again. You are just a little be too fancy for me right now and in my life I need a little less pretentiousness and I little more fun, they offered me what I need in this moment.
So I ask for your forgiveness and know that my heart belongs to you, but I just need to do this right now and have some much needed fun before we finally get together and have that long lasting relationship.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Dear future husband,
please don't waste your money saving up for a big expensive diamond ring. First of all, I hate diamonds and there is no trick here; I am telling you the truth, so please don't ever buy me one.
I have a Claddagh ring which is more special and more meaningful anyhow, and will happily take it from my right hand and transfer it onto my left.
I will however take a pair, or two, or three, of Jimmy Choos! I have always wanted them and you know that I will look awesome wearing them, so really this is a gift for you to enjoy as well as me. Unlike some stupid ring that, let's be honest, some poor kids in Africa probably had to loose a limb so it could be made, and I will most likely take off while I am working, and not even know where it is in a few months. Jimmy Choos will be my diamond ring and I promise to love them, er, I mean, you forever!
XOXO Your fabulous future wife~
Monday, December 21, 2009
It isn't you, it's me and really it's me. I am so busy I hardly have time to think and honestly don't have time for extra drama. . .oh yeah, this is for my friends as well as potential more than friend types.
1) Just because I never call you back or I text you a week later, does not mean I’m not interested, or care about you, our friendship or more. Really, I'm not that deep. I don’t have time to even consider what kind of signal I’m sending or how you might interpret it. I'm just not sending it because I. Did. Not. Have. Time.
I have this problem all the time and I don't have the time to worry about the game of it all. Guys, I do what I do and I don't worry even for a second about the signal I am sending you, sorry but it is true. Friends, relax, you're my friend, I do care, I am just slammed.
2) I don't have time to hang out, so I will send you short text messages and emails that sometimes repeat or make no sense.
I am so busy and know that I won't see you, so I send emails and text messages instead of going out, and maybe that is cold, or whatever, but it is what it is. Guys, it also isn't any kind of sign that I want some huge relationship, so give me a break, because this is me trying. Friends, this is all I can do right now.
3) Speaking of hanging out…when I have a window of opportunity, you need to drop everything. That window might close in 5 minutes and it might not come again until after I finish this script, pilot, novel, animated short, commercial or whatever else.
This does not mean that I am being cold, or don't care about you, it means exactly what it says, this is the window I have. This is for both friends and guys, because I am too busy and can't make plans, so when I am free that is when I can do something and more often than not, it is last minute.
4) If you get a real live phone call consider yourself lucky, it’s the equivalent to spending a day together.
I can't talk on the phone and type, or draw, so when I am swamped with work, please don't expect me to spend hours on the phone with you, because I won't. It's not personal.
5) (This one is for guys) Essentially we’re down to text messages and a booty call.
Because I don't have time for games and courting rituals. I'm not a slut, or a man hater, and am not trying to prove anything to you or your gender.
6) (Also for guys) If I do see you, even if only for an hour, that means I like you. I really don't want to have to worry about compliments, stroking your ego or anything and I don't have energy to compete. I showed up, that says a lot.
This one is self explanatory.
This is my life right now, until the TV show sells, or the screenplay sells, or I am working on staff somewhere.
A few other things are that: I can't make plans in advance more than a day, and even when I do, I may have to break them. If I say I can't do something with you and then a couple hours later change that~it is because I all of a sudden can do something that I wasn't able to earlier.
You can not get upset with me for putting work in front of you when I don't have a 9 to 5 job and don't know when or where, or for how long I will be working~sometimes the hours are round the clock.
This is my life right now, and that said, if you are in my life I do care about you in some way, and I do enjoy your text messages, facebook posts, emails and even voice mails, but when I don't respond right away, just know that it meant something to me that you didn't forget I exist.
R.I.P. Sweet, young, talented, Brittany.
So sad when we lose someone so young.
I am a bit disturbed by so many people jumping on the Perez Hilton ban-wagon; she was NOT doing recreational drugs.
She did however have an eating disorder and even if she was better now, many people with eating disorders when they are young suffer from heart attacks later in life.
Yo-yo dieting, starving yourself and not getting proper nurtrition are very hard on the heart.
The reports are saying she had "flu like" symptoms for the past few days, for women, these are the symptoms of heart failure.
(John Ridder was feeling tired and worn out just before his heart attack-even though a man, just sayin' the symptoms are not always pain in left arm)
Brittany has been looking too thin of late and even if she thought she was okay, that weight loss most likely put a huge strain on her heart.
I am not stating facts that this is what happened, but it is my speculation and I feel sorry for her and her family.
Margaret Cho was at an event that I was attending earlier this year and she was talking about her eating disorder when she was in her twenties and how now, she has a murmur now and has to really watch it.
I was deeply saddened by the news yesterday and I only hope that they will talk about this more so young women will pay attention to how serious eating disorders can be.
Brittany was an amazing actress and outstanding person and she will be missed. Gone too soon.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Today I am embarking on the great closet re-organize! Of course I need room for my new boys!
That said, when doing this, if I am in old trainers I don't feel as amazing as I do while wearing one of my gorgeous new stilettos, so here I am in my closet, 5 inch heels and a ladder, feeling absolutely fabulous while doing something mundane.
This goes to prove that a great pair of shoes can make the most boring tasks amazing!
I am just sayin'!
Friday, December 18, 2009
My newest addition~ I have been wearing them all night since they arrived in the prettiest pink box wrapped in purple tissue paper. When I pulled them out, nothing else seemed to matter and when I stepped into them, my whole night brightened up. :0)
Dear Jimmy, when I look at you my heart pounds a little faster, my eyes sparkle a little more and the world seems a little happier. When we are together I feel as if I can accomplish anything. You are my true soul mate and I know that we will have a long lasting relationship even if you hurt me from time to time, the pain is just the price of beauty that I am happy to pay because look how gorgeous you are, and how gorgeous I am when we are together.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
On a serious note and why I am writing this blog:
WOW! To say that I was blown away by this film, by Jim Sheridan would be an understatement. When I first saw the Danish version in 2005, by Susanne Bier I was actually emotionally wrecked for days and even found myself waking up in the middle of the night because of vivid dreams. This remake was also very disturbing, emotional and thought provoking.
Sadly the advertisements for either film didn't do them justice. Yes there is a love triangle there, but there is a deeper story going on, and this film, as well as the Danish one, does a great job of showing another price of war that usually goes unrecognized and never talked about, or at least not in the press.
My father was in WW2 and he wouldn't ever talk about the people he had killed, but when he did it was beyond sad to see him break down in tears and be absolutely destroyed about things that happened more than 60 years ago.
This isn't a feel good film and you may feel worn out when you leave the cinema, but it is definitely a great one and kudos to Jim Sheridan for making an excellent version of the original!
I was surprised & congratulations to Tobey Maguire for his Golden Globe Nom!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The Golden Globes are my favorite of all the award shows for many reasons, the top being that they are fun. You can be relaxed wear something a little more outgoing and enjoy yourself. As well, the temps usually are a lot easier to handle than the Academy Awards later in the spring.
The Golden Globes recognizes both film and television and honestly is the best party in town!
So set the date, January 17th 2010, and here are your nominees!
CONGRATS TO MY FAV DIRECTOR OF ALL TIMES, MARTIN SCORSESE FOR SNAGGING THE CECIL B. DEMILLE!! Love you, love your work, love everything you do! Kisses all around!
Up in the Air scored a leading six nominations for the 57th Annual Golden Globes. Nine was next with five, followed by Avatar and Inglourious Basterds with four.
On the TV side, newcomer Glee led all contenders with four nominations, followed by 30 Rock, Damages, Dexter and Big Love, with three apiece.
The awards will be handed out on Jan. 17. Here's the complete list of contenders:
BEST MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
• The Hurt Locker
• Inglourious Basterds
• Up in the Air
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
BEST MOTION PICTURE, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
• (500) Days of Summer
• The Hangover
• It's Complicated
• Julie & Julia
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
• Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
• Fantastic Mr. Fox
• The Princess and the Frog
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
• Baaria (Italy)
• Broken Embraces (Spain)
• The Maid (Chile)
• A Prophet (France)
• The White Ribbon (Germany)
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
• Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell, District 9
• Mark Boal, The Hurt Locker
• Nancy Meyers, It's Complicated
• Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner, Up in the Air
• Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
• Michael Giacchino, Up
• Marvin Hamlisch, The Informant!
• James Horner, Avatar
• Abel Korzeniowski, A Single Man
• Karen O and Carter Burwell, Where the Wild Things Are
BEST ORIGINAL SONG
• "Cinema Italiano," Music & Lyrics by Maury Yeston (Nine)
• "I Want to Come Home," Music & Lyrics by Paul McCartney (Everybody's Fine)
• "I Will See You," Music by James Horner, Simon Franglen; Lyrics by James Horner, Simon Franglen and Kuk Harrell (Avatar)
• "The Weary Kind," Music & Lyrics by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett (Crazy Heart)
• "Winter," Music by U2; Lyrics by Bono (Brothers)
BEST TELEVISION SERIES, DRAMA
• Big Love
• Mad Men
• True Blood
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES, DRAMA
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES, DRAMA
BEST TELEVISION SERIES, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
• 30 Rock
• Modern Family
• The Office
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
BEST MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
• Georgia O'Keefe
• Grey Gardens
• Into the Storm
• Little Dorrit
• Taking Chance
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
• Jane Adams, Hung
• Rose Byrne, Damages
• Jane Lynch, Glee
• Janet McTeer, Into the Storm
• Chloë Sevigny, Big Love
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
What do you mean I don't really need these shoes? Of course I need them. Shoes are a basic human right and I definitely need them, do you see how amazing they are? They are so pretty and I must have them. So what if I primarily work at home; does that mean that I can't look fabulous? And what about all the parties I will be invited to during award season? It is right around the corner. These shoes will look awesome with everything I own. I totally need them. Do you take Visa?
Saturday, December 12, 2009
OMG! I just signed up for a monthly shoe delivery service! How awesome is that? I am so excited! I can not wait! I hate to admit that I love shoes. I really do. I wouldn't say I am as bad as Carrie or Becky *see below photo*, but I definitely love them.
A new pair of shoes can change the way you feel about yourself, your outlook on the world, the day, your job, your boss, your boyfriend and your life. They are here to make us girls feel and look beautiful. What could be better?
I am an artist and a writer and usually work at home, but does that mean I have to be sad and have only comfortable shoes that are unflattering?
Wait for updates on my new shoes! Tis award season after all, so this is really a necessity for any Hollywood girl!
"The movie cost a reported $150 million" this is from an article about the Princess and The Frog.
The thing that gets me is that Disney used an ultra small staff here in the Burbank studio, so small in fact that many of us, 100 or more, give or take, weren't even offered positions on the film and rather most of the work was shipped overseas or across the country to small independent studios for the explanation of, "to keep the costs down".
The costs were not kept down at $150 million and that is a shame because they are setting it up to be a box office failure and thus putting the nail into the coffin of 2D films.
The article by Julia Boorstin also said that the reason 2D films weren't making money was this, "hand-drawn animation tends to appeal primarily to kids while Pixar movies draw all ages." I would like to smack her because this is simply not true. Story is what appeals to all ages, and it has nothing to do with the medium.
It makes me sad that Disney isn't even expecting a decent box office, and yet they spent all that money, when they could have done it for a lot less and kept the most of the crew in house, here in Burbank like we did on the films in the 90s.
As well, in my experience whatever they are telling the media is usually A LOT less than the real cost of the film, so again, I wonder, why the fuck didn't they just hire a full crew out here and save $50 -70 million and gain more at the box office?
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Have to bring a gift to a random party? How about Chia???? Hahahaha, seriously these have to be the silliest things around and every year in Nov/Dec I start seeing ads for them. It is amazing to me that in an economy where so many products and companies are failing, the Chia pet has survived!
Who wants to buy me one for Christmas?
I am just sayin'! Hilarious!
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Here is the update~
The money is in my account. The bank told me that I went in and made the deposit and they "never make mistakes" it was me.
Really? So I printed out the deposit slip, from my computer-side bar here, hello? I can do that and see who actually went in, a concept too smart for the folks at the 888 number, anyhow, so I printed out the slip and saw that some poor woman wrote the wrong account number down.
I just went to the bank, in person, and asked them to correct it. I feel so bad for this woman and I hope she is rich and didn't need her rent check to clear!
In any case, I was honest and hopefully Mrs. Kimm will have her money back soon and the bank will actually train their employees. I mean, really? Telling someone to take the money and run? That makes me nervous on many levels.
Also I have to note that all of the customer service reps I got on the phone were men and today I dealt with woman. I am not one of those men haters (in fact I luuuuuuve men, even with all their no so great qualities), but seriously, ALL the men told me to lie and take the money and the women were thanking me for being honest! There is the difference right there.
There are many issues to dating a guy/man who is an actor, athlete, public figure, etc. ., the most common being that usually they will cheat on you and you will find out about it in a magazine, news report, or something equally lame like that. As well, many times they aren't doing anything, but since the media and PR hounds are so involved in their lives it is almost impossible to know what the truth is, and you have to be super secure to just ignore it and trust them.
I was dating a film actor back in the 90s and sometimes would open magazines and see him with some other girl with some nasty headline, as well, this guy apparently had many girlfriends, which was fine with me, because it is hard to be serious about someone in the public eye the way this one was, but you know, then the tabloids called etc.
I have also dated guys that are actors, but are only on television and until recently didn't realize why that also sucks.
Here is the thing, I like dating actors for many reasons. 1) They are usually so busy that they don't smother you, 2) They are self absorbed enough that they don't get jealous 3) they are physically attractive-yeah I know that sounds bad, but everyone thinks it and only some of us admit it, 4) They work in the same industry as me, so they understand the craziness that is the biz.
One of my friends always makes fun of me for going out with them. I am great at ignoring tabloids and gossip and to be honest the less famous they are the easier that part becomes.
Recently, for the past two months I was dating this TV actor, nothing super serious, just dating. We met at a function and hit it off immediately, lucky for me the show he is on shoots on the east coast so no smothering of any kind. Everything was fine and in fact he was like the dream guy you think about as a teenager, a real gentleman, kind, thoughtful, and just actually all around amazing, but for whatever reason that I can't explain, I just wasn't into him the way I should be after two months. I spent most of Thanksgiving week with him, breaking my cookie theory and finally we had the talk and now we are just friends. It was a hard decision to make, but I did it.
So here is the problem, when you make a decision to break it off with someone you actually like, you are always unsure, well usually; with a TV star you find yourself flipping through the channels the show he is on is having a marathon and you can't escape him and start second guessing yourself even more. Did I make the right decision? Maybe he was perfect for me, but I am just in a bad place? I don't know!
In normal life when you end it with someone you get space and distance, and usually don't see them, but dating the celebrity is a different kettle of fish altogether. You want the break, but you can't get it in a normal way.
I am just sayin', one more thing to consider when you meet that awesome actor who is so cute and flashes that gorgeous smile at you, he will still be in your life even when it is over.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Seriously? Seriously! I am still reeling over the stupidity of the customer service reps that work the phones at one of my banks. I checked my balance today and noticed a large sum of money had been deposited in my account.
No I have not had an affair with Tiger Woods and was not expecting a pay out ;0)
I am honest and I called the bank to find out who, when and where this deposit came from.
Idiot number one, let's call him Forrest; "Um well, close your account and take the money, it's money." Then I swear to the baby Jaysus he made a Beavis and or Butthead-esque laugh. After a pause, I demanded to speak to a supervisor in charge. He argued w/ me for a minute and was trying to pronounce a word that I later realized was "electronic"...seriously and no, he was American, English as a first and very slow language. "The bank is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get!"
Idiot number two, let's call him George; "It isn't illegal to close your account and just take the money, my associate was just saying you should take it."
After a slur of curse words that I didn't even now I had the talent to string together ran through my head in a ticker-tape format, I calmly asked this guy to repeat what he had said because I couldn't believe my fucking ears.
He did repeat it, and I said, "tell this to me like I'm a two year old, you are saying I should close the account and take the money?"
Then George said that I could, it was my option and that there was fraud going on, and I explained that money was put in, not taken out and he told me that. . .and I am not that good of a writer to make this up. . ."fraud comes in all ways and I should take it, close the account and open a new account, or I will have to deal with filling out paperwork."
Neither of these two geniuses looked up my account, or anything.
To the people of the world,
This is the reason that the USA is in banking crisis, they hire people with IQs lower than a sponge and then wonder why things get fucked up.
I am just sayin'!
Monday, November 30, 2009
So in my quest to make the best time to and from San Francisco, which I did by the way, both directions, I finally got stopped. Here is what happened.
I left SF on Saturday around 10:45- 11 am...and guess where I was at 2:15? That would be Santa Barbara, oh and I was going down the 101 as mentioned in an earlier post to avoid the riff raff on the 5. I decided to get out with my dog and walk around State Street...that sucked..waaaaay too busy and I didn't think I should have a pint at my favorite Irish pub on this side of the pond and then drive the remaining 80 miles home.
When I got back on the freeway, it was more packed than the 405 on a Monday morning. UGH...so I called a friend to have her check sigalert for me. It showed nothing, but finally a sign post said there was a 3 lane crash in Thousand Oaks.
In any case the traffic sucked and I was really hungry because I hadn't eaten yet. Finally the traffic broke! YAY! Zoom Zoom..
ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM to 90 mph, and I decided to slow it down, I was almost home why risk it.
I looked in the mirror and who do I see? Yep a cop...FUCK!...so he motioned for me to pull over and it was like a sitcom, although me being a writer probably was the only one who thought it was funny. Here is why it was funny.
My dog was in his crate in the passenger seat so I had no way of getting to my glove box to show Officer Hottie McHot..oh yeah, boy was hot....I had to get out of my car and walk around, which he didn't like, but whatever. Then I handed him expired registration and asked him, "why did you stop me?"
His reply, well, you were speeding.
Me, really? Weird, what's the speed limit?
Him, 60.. I clocked you at 98
Me in my head...oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!! Like in a Christmas Story.. that is wreckless driving, although I can assure you I was being completely safe.
Is he going to take my car, will I lose my license for a year, should I take off my shirt or just flirt? Cry? What???
Him, and you were on your cell phone.
Me, I was not!
Him, you still have the earphones on.
Me, but these are my hands free.
Him, in Ventura you can't be on the phone and how did you answer? I saw you look down and at that speed.
Me, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese don't give me a ticket. I am not working and can't afford it....*tears welling up*** I am not going to cry because that is pathetic, but pleeeeeeeeeeeeese, I promise I never do anything wrong. I just called a friend cuz the traffic gridlocked and I have been in the car all day, from San Francisco...
Him, at that speed? Not all day, I say about 11?
It was all I could do not to laugh, and I didn't tell him that I spent 45 minutes in downtown SB...LOL
He was super nice and didn't give me a moving violation, but just a talking on cell phone, which is a lot lower. Hey, I know I wasn't going that fast! (hee-hee)
I still made it home in 5 hours...:0)
I figure I was very lucky and want to thank the officer for being so cool!!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Seriously everytime I am on it, my IQ drops 10 more points. It is like taking the Walmart-esque crowd giving them keys to cars, some drugs and or drug money and unleashing them onto the 5.
They don't seem to know the rules of, slow driving stay to the right! If you pass them, on either side, 8 out of 10 times they will chase you down. You can see blow jobs, hand jobs, white trash at it's best on this roadway and all the while feel like you are in a game of Frogger with the Sopranos and Mario Andretti trying to survive.
I honestly don't get it. Why this stretch of freeway? Why are people like this?
The only good thing about the 5 is how quick it is, 4-5 hours to and from SF/L.A. but really? UGH
I chose to use an extra tank of gas and couple more hours to have a gorgeous view of the ocean, drive through amazing neighborhoods and just have a more peaceful day when driving back down.
If you have the time, I highly suggest the 101 as an alternative to the chaos that errupts on the 5.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
I am once again sad to call myself an American when days like this are upon us.
Yes we should be thankful for everyone and everything great in our lives and I enjoy that aspect, but like Valentine's Day (where men are forced to be romantic via the calender), why must we wait until the last Thursday in November to be thankful? We should be thankful every single day.
We should help those in need and instead of pigging out on this day, the day we raped and killed the natives, kicked them off their own land, we should give back to those less fortunate.
Tisk tisk America...this is not what we are supposed to stand for.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I have been going over and over and over what happened and can't make sense of it. I know the stats, I saw the film, I have read tons about this bridge, but it still sucks. I talked to her and I couldn't help her. I hope she is okay where ever she is now. I hope that it didn't hurt too much when her body slammed into the icy water 245 feet below. I wish that she had considered for a moment that her life did matter.
I had posted all over one of my Facebook profiles, but took it all off today. I am pretty messed up about it and think that I needed to talk, or type, or whatever. I am having nightmares and wonder if this is how people feel when they lose a stranger all the time. Is there always such an overwhelming feeling of guilt?
I went to the spot (79) that she was standing and ultimately jumped from today and it felt cold and dark even though the sun was shining bright.
It is so sad that people do this all the time and I hope that someday I can make a difference for someone else, because I didn't for her.
Monday, November 23, 2009
In May of 2009 I went to San Francisco. I stood on the Golden Gate Bridge then it shook and I was terrified. I walked quickly across and back. Later as I looked at it from Crissy Field I felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness come over me. Thus started my research into the suicides that surround this amazing place.
In Nov 2009, I started writing a novel about a girl who drives from Los Angeles to San Francisco to jump off. I am almost done with it and it has turned into one of the most precious things I have ever worked on. I have many fictional first person stories from people who jumped, I have fictional stories from people who witnessed others last moments, I have paranormal activity and all in all, it is coming out better than I thought.
Today I was in San Francisco and I looked at the live webcam and saw that the bridge wasn't covered in fog, so I drove up and was enjoying the beautiful weather, view and a happier bridge-so to speak. It was a good day.
Then I saw her. She stood at the rails with her long dark hair blowing gently in the wind and the tears running down her face. She leaned on the railing and I just knew what was in her mind. I waited about 30 minutes before I approached her, hoping, praying, waiting for someone to show up to save her. I had read in my research that if anyone is alone on the bridge for more than 30 minutes, especially in one spot that someone will come and help them, but today no one came. She was looking around and then she would lift her foot up onto the railing and grab the cables, then she would cry some more and step down. It was like she was waiting for an absolution that would never come, no one even noticed her and her fate was already decided.
I walked over to her and asked, "Are you okay?" She said nothing but tears ran down her face. I asked again, "Are you okay? You look so sad." She thanked me for asking and her mouth smiled but her eyes told the truth. I asked if I could do anything and she said nothing, but she grabbed the cables again so I backed off. I watched her for another 20 minutes from a short distance, she kept looking at me and I kept looking at her hoping yet again that someone would come, no one did, so I dialed 911.
I told them everything, they said they would send someone and thanked me, but not before they told me to walk away so I didn't cause her to jump. I did; I stupidly did. I walked away. I turned around and she was gone. There was only the empty spot that she had stood crying left.
15 minutes and my phone rang, and they were asking where she was, and I just started to cry. I walked all the way to Marin and back and in my shock I didn´t want to believe what I knew had happened. They didn't get there in time.
I walked past the spot again and there were some people looking over the edge and rumblings about a girl who jumped. When I got to the bottom of the hill past the gift shop, there were cops everywhere. The coast guard boats were in the Bay, and a helicopter circled under the bridge.
I don't know who she was. I didn't ask her name. I didn't invite her for coffee. I didn't stop her from dying in the worst possible way. I didn't do enough and tonight I sit here writing this blog and she is gone. I was the last person on earth that she spoke to and all I said was "Are you okay?" Three words that will haunt me forever.
Friday, November 20, 2009
I am so sad about it and hope that he is going to be okay so far away from his home.
When he returns he will be all refreshed and back to his original self and then we will spend the day putting him back together. Hopefully this experience won't be too traumatic for us and we can get through it together.
Instead of flowers feel free to send money, cards, dinners, whatever to cheer us up during this difficult time. We will also accept: cheesecakes, teddy bears, daisies or sunflowers and Butler's Irish Chocolate.
His stand-in, PC is happily taking over for a week or so, and since he had recently been rebooted to do some Flash, he was ready to take on the job! Sadly he isn't so young anymore and sometimes gets too hot too soon, but we will manage.
Thank you for your kind words and sympathy! We love you all so much!
I will be going to San Francisco for the holiday and to finish my novel, which takes place, guess where? Yep SF!
As some of you know, these past few weeks have been a crazy whirlwind of emotions and I think my head needs a break...the break will be playing in SF and hanging out with friends and finishing my latest writing adventure.
I am very excited about the novel, my screenplay, starting the next screenplay, writing an episode of General Hospital!!! (That is right...w00t w00t) and whatever comes next! I know that I always quote Titanic, the good and the bad, but I do believe that life is a a gift and worrying about stuff, especially the shit we can't change, is just a waste of time that could be spent enjoying life.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Brødre (2004) was an amazing film. Period..no if and or buts about it. The film staring Connie Nielsen, Ulrich Thomsen, Nikolaj Lie Kaas, was brilliantly acted, just brilliant, beyond brilliant and I am appalled that Jim Sheridan (who I do love as a director) would even attempt to remake such a remarkable film. WHY ? WHY? WHY?Look, I know there are remakes that are good, but when you take such an amazing film and remake it only 5 years after the release, I am baffled. Susanne Bier is one of today's best directors and so is Jim Sheridan, but I really don't understand this move.
Susanne's film was so amazing, that after just seeing the trailer I studied my Danish like crazy just so I could watch it and understand it (I was living and working in Copenhagen at the time) and I did. I can't talk enough about how amazing this film was. The acting was crazy good, and the emotions were real, you didn't know which brother to cheer for, because they were both fucked and the wife was in the darkest place of her life when she found love and comfort in someone else. This was a true love story with so many layers that I am sorry but there is no way in hell that the new film will measure up.
Since the Danish film is one of my all time favorite flicks, I will probably go see the new one just to see if it does it justice, but if I were you, I would rent the original and you can get it with subtitles, so you won't have to learn Danish, but trust me, it is worth it.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
OMFG!!! Yes, F......what is with people and the lack of ability to smell?...I have to rant a bit and it is my blog so I am going to...
1) Not showing for days on end and then going to an event where you are sitting close to people-NOT OKAY!
2) Wearing old and dirty clothes that could otherwise show up without you in them-NOT OKAY
3) Dipping yourself in perfume or cologne until the entire state of CA can smell you-NOT OKAY
4) FARTING in public-NOT OKAY!
5) Cooking nasty ass smelling veggies is okay, but open a window or something...
I am just sayin'!
Daytime Writing Fellow ABC Television
Staff Writer Grey's Anatomy ABC Television
Freelance Writer Dirty Sexy Money ABC Television
Staff Writer Traveler ABC Television
Head Writer Welcome to My Life HBO Productions
Showrunner The First Year Showtime
Animator Every Feature Film in Europe
Actress Sarah Horton Days of Our Lives
Actress Kendall Hart All My Children
Hahaha!! Jobs that I was so close to I could taste and then lost for whatever reason...I keep telling myself that everything happens the way it is supposed to....really it does...it does..:0)
I was called about an animation job in Europe recently and they were excited, I was excited until they found out I was American and then it was all over! It is the way of the creative lifestyle....
Sunday, November 15, 2009
After having a discussion about the Godfather, Goodfellas (two of the best films ever made, especially Goodfellas and my hard on for Scorcese!), Casino and the Sopranos I started thinking about what it is about these stories that I love and I have to add one into the mix.
Wait for it. . . General Hospital, yes a soap, a daytime drama. Can you believe it?
I have been obsessed with GH this year and I joke about Dominic Zamprogna (of Battlestar Galactica) being the reason, but good looks only get me so far.
It is the storyline of Sonny Corinthos that is so amazing. Maurice Benard does an excellent job of making this mob boss lovable. Yes he orders hits on people and yes he makes all his money through extortion, robbery and drugs, but we still love him. We, the audience care about him. Why? This character is so well written that you can't help yourself. Like Tony Soprano, Sonny is all about his family. This is a family man. There is nothing he won't do for his family and the show is written in a way that really gets that point across. As well as putting his family first, he always helps his friends and the community. He donated heaps of money to build an AIDS wing at General Hospital, and he also opened a head trauma specialist unit after his son Michael was shot and put into a coma. He has worked his whole life keeping his family as his first priority and that is why we love him. Add to the fact that he is bi-polar and struggling with his own demons makes him the mobster with the heart of gold.
The current storyline is woven around him, his ex girlfriend from high school-the son they had together who is now working undercover to bring him down and of course he doesn't know this, and the Zacchara family. What I love about the undercover storylines is that the person undercover always learns about who they are bringing down and if done well you are rooting for both sides. Examples of this are: Wiseguy (TV show) and Donnie Brasco. This GH story is so well done that it would make a great film if self contained and put on the big screen and that is why I tune in every night.
Moving on. Tony Soprano, best written character in the history of television. You take this mob boss who will kill without even thinking about it, and cheat on his wife because he loves the power, and put him in a shrink's office talking about his feelings and you realize, "omg, he is a person." The Sopranos was truly groundbreaking in the way that Tony got you the minute you meet him. He cared about animals, much like Vito Corleone did and when the audience sees that, we immediately care. It is a subtle trick, but it works. Tony puts his family first, always and they did an amazing job of taking a show about family and setting it into this dangerous, and very real world, and they made you care about him.
Now Michael Corleone, who I believe to be the "hero" so to speak of the Godfather series (1 & 2 only), got lost and lost control of his family and let the power take him over. He even ordered a hit on his own brother, but why do we still care? Because we go through it with him. The death of Vito and his rise to power when he wasn't ready was told so well that your heart breaks for Michael, over and over and over.
Henry Hill, pretty much a dickhead, but still you watch Goodfellas and you care about him. Robert De Niro as Sam Rothstein (a.ka. Ace) in Casino (Scorcese) is also someone you care about. You see his life unfold and you care until the very end.
So what is it about these mobsters that makes us love them? It's all about family and great writing~
Saturday, November 14, 2009
New Moon delivers the goods on an emotional level.
Oh My God!!! Congratulations Chris Weitz for taking an otherwise boring as f*#@ book and making it a GREAT flick!! Seriously...with the exception of Breaking Dumb, er, I mean Breaking Dawn...I love the Twilight series. I can get past the sparkling Vampires and enjoy the Romeo & Juliet of it all. I love it actually. They are great fun. The first film was fun, w/ the exception of some of Edward's dialogue and stupid fx for his super fast vampire running-not his fault btw, but still...New Moon was great. I loved it.
I didn't like the CG wolves though, just like the Golden Compass, they were almost distracting from the film, and I still don't understand why some films-LOTR can handle CG and others can't. In any case, if you can get past some bad animation you should like this film, if you like the franchise all together.
The book was a stepping stone, in my opinion, just to get us to Eclipse, where the story picks back up and to introduce the wolves fully. That said it was a bit too much exposition and not enough story. Yes we understood Bella's pain in the book, but Chris stepped it up in the film and you actually felt her absolute agony over losing Edward. Yeah, it's a bit OTT, because how can you love someone that much that you haven't known that long? But again, this is Romeo & Juliet at the core and you just have to accept certain things as rules of the film.
It was really good and I am definitely going to pay to see it again.
Melissa Rosenberg did a much better job adapting this one than she did Twilight, but I already knew that going in.
Get ready for total and utter Vampire/Wolf box office domination this holiday season!
Yes I am an artist and yes I can draw and you can't, so if you want me to draw something for you, you have to pay for it. Got it? Good!
A work colleague told me that she used to ask the local plumber for his rates and then when someone asked her to do an art project with no idea how much to pay, she would quote the plumber's rates, and that is a good idea.
Would you say to your local plumber, mechanic, doctor, roofer, contractor, or other; I can't pay you, but it will be great exposure? No! Especially if said professional has over 15 years experience.
Look, to my friends, I am happy to do a drawing for you on occasion, it is easy, it is fun, but you then can't expect me to do it for free all the time, or make a gazillion changes to my free drawing for you. Yes this happens to.
I get this all the time...."OOOOOHH I love your work, will you do a drawing for me? Please?" and then I do and it fucking comes back with notes? Seriously people.
Recently as I posted on my FB, I was contacted about a traditional animation job and I heard the pay was lower than normal and was asked my rates. I gave them the LOWEST rates in the industry, and I am talking LOW, so low that 5 years ago people would turn down work at these rates and even now, in desperate times, more people would rather collect EDD than work for these rates. In Africa they would be insulting, in Asia people would be shocked and in Inida they would tell you that your Karma would surely get you for paying this badly. Let's just say, they are NOT high. So, I quoted him these crazy low and insulting rates, and he came back with . . . and I could not make this stuff up. . . .
"$200! Well it is only two characters, which you will have the freedom to design ( which means, I HAVE to friggen' design them) and there is only about 2600 frames (Hello? only 2600 drawings? of TWO characters? Someone needs to do some math and realize that is a shitload of work), and you will be doing character animation, clean up and color.
?????? Yeah, again, ??????? so I suggested that maybe, just maybe we do it in Flash or limited animation, NOT that even in Flash the TWO HUNDRED dollars I was offered would be worth it, but nooooooooo he wants, "Disney" style.
I almost had no words the day that email came in, and I'm a writer, so that says a lot.
Here is the thing. I don't need exposure, however, I do need money and my time is worth a lot, so pay up.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
I was craving Jamba Juice on Tuesday and it was hot hot hot hot outside, so I didn't want to walk the 6 blocks to get one. I decided to drive to Pavillions in Burbank and when I got there, I saw Flash Forward trucks and Joseph running around with a gun! Needless to say, I didn't get a Jamba, but it was fun.
Only in Hollywood!! Love it!!
So in the meantime I am perfecting, no mastering the art of making my finances work for me and doing a little dance that I affectionately call, the Credit Card Shuffle.
Here is how it works, you pay your credit cards the amount of bills and then pay your bills with your credit cards, and thus you spend way less out of pocket money. It works, example? Okay, your phone bill is 100 bucks, your credit card min is 70, so you play 100 to your credit card, and 100 to your phone with that credit card, two places get paid and you only lose the extra $30, basically you paid two bills with one payment. The credit card place is happy because you paid more than your min and then you charged it up again and your phone company is happy, because it is paid and you still have a phone to get a job!
This is the really fun part about not working full time~wait, what do they say about sarcasm?
I'm Just Sayin'!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
The Cookie Theory!. . .and how I apply it dating. . .Know where this is going yet?
Okay, you know how you love cookies? You do, everyone does. I love cookies. I love them. When I have them they are breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, snack, dinner, dessert and snack again until gone, but then I feel sick and don't want to see "Cookie" again for a long time.
This is a fast and steady rule I have used in the dating world and every single time I have broken the cookie rule, that has been the end of whatever may have been.
You know, you have been eating cookies and you love them because they taste so good and then you are to the point of bliss and you think to yourself, I'll just have one more. . .then regret immediately sets in and you can't even look at Cookie again for a long time. Yes Cookie that you once couldn't get enough of and you even loved Cookie has now become the thing that turns your stomach. You no longer want to see Cookie, hear from Cookie and even bump into Cookie. Cookie is pushed away!
It is the same with dating. You meet someone, you hit it off, sparks fly, the chemistry is high and you have that first date or alone time and it is awesome-cut to fireworks-and then another date and still-amazing, then so on and so on. Well this is just like Cookie, if you spread it out, then yep, it works and you still want more. BUT beware if you see the person too much too fast you are destine to all of a sudden look at them and not want to be around anymore. Which is a shame, because just like Cookie, you could have had a long lasting relationship, and lots of fun.
I love cookies, I do and when I don't have them for a while, I crave them, I want them, and when I get them, I am happy. MMMMMMM....but if I indulge too much, then UGH..you know what I mean.
I have broken my cookie theory and ended up too full!
A relationship is like a cookie, it needs space to be awesome, missed and then well enjoyed!
I am just sayin', when you meet someone, use the cookie theory and you will always be happy.