Thursday, September 30, 2010
I took this photo a couple weeks ago when I was in San Francisco. As some of you know, I am fascinated by this bridge and it's, sad & tragic, history. I wrote a novel last year about a girl driving from Los Angeles to San Francisco to jump off the bridge, but she meets someone who talks her out of it, they fall in love, but turns out, he is a ghost-he jumped, and thus needed to save her to move on. (Yes looking for an agent and to find it a home). And while up there doing some research I met a gal who was crying at marker 79...well after watching her for a while, I asked her if she was okay~she wasn't~less than 30 minutes later she was gone. I had turned around for a second and she jumped. I did call the police, but they didn't get there in time-in any case~ I hope to bring awareness to people about suicide and how it is a very serious and tragic solution to a temporary problem.
That said, after the almost year of obsession with the Golden Gate Bridge, I learned about the most moronic idea on the planet that will cost Californians 5 million dollars. A net.
Yes a net. A net. I have to keep repeating it because it is beyond stupid.
Why? You ask? Well besides the high winds, cost, ugliness of it and daredevil attraction that it will bring and actually have more people jumping-it will NOT work.
Unless they put the whole bridge into a bubble-it won't work. This is simple physics people. Given wind-and it is always windy up there, and fog, and trajectory, someone could easily miss the net. A net will also give people a false sense of "if I change my mind, the net will catch me". It will still be far enough up that after hitting the net someone could just jump from there, or get hurt in there. Stupid! Stupid!Stupid!
So I sent a letter-a couple actually- to the folks in charge of the "suicide barrier" suggesting that the best was to deter people is to just extend the fencing by about ten feet, and not even with the super strong heavy fencing. Just enough so it won't blow down, or be easily pushed through and not so strong that people can climb up it.
If I was upset and thinking about doing it, and then got up there and had to climb...it would deter me.
At the end of the day, people who are going to commit suicide are going to do it, but so many suicides are just gut reactions to situations and could be prevented.
I got an email from them today and they said while it was a good idea, the suicide net is moving forward!
How stupid.. and really? 5 million dollars? A fence wouldn't cost even half of that.
I chose this picture because I think it depicts the sadness of the bridge and the many many souls that have lost their lives there. More than the Titanic and that is just the ones we know about. The numbers could very well be more than double that making it the worst American tragedy since the Civil War.
I'm just sayin'.....fence, not net. Fence.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I hope you find it as interesting as I did.
Mentors Pay It Forward
By Anne Cheevers
General Manager, 6FigureJobs
Last week I talked about why it’s important to have one (or three!), the wonderful people who agreed to be mine, and what we all got out of it. Today, I want to focus on why you should become one.
When you become a mentor, you agree to offer that person advice, access and advocacy.
Whether you are mentoring a college student or a professional whose career path is shorter than yours, your experience gives you invaluable perspective that your mentee can use to help them avoid pitfalls and missteps and to supercharge their careers.
I have several people that I mentor. Here are a couple of examples:
The first is someone I worked with 20 years ago that was an AP clerk in the accounting department. He was a very bright, very analytical guy who wanted to “make a lot of money” but didn’t want to put in the time to get his CPA.
My advice? Given his analytical bent, marketing was the career path he should consider.
Access? I helped him transition into the marketing department at my company.
Advocacy? Throughout his career I have helped prospective hiring managers understand his strengths. Today he is a lead marketer for a major advertising agency…making a lot of money.
Another mentee is a former vendor. She worked at a major printing house I used, she was an incredibly smart estimator (meaning she got me great pricing) and we had a great working relationship. At one of our meetings she shared her frustration with me that she felt like she had been dead-ended and that her opportunities at her current company were limited.
My advice? Move to the client side where “purchasing” is less narrowly defined.
Access? I worked with her to identify target companies, and segments, where opportunities might exist.
Advocacy? I’ve helped her get recognition and face time with those companies. We’ve worked together as she has transitioned from “ink on paper”, to online media and today, she is one of the top buyers for a major telecom company.
So what did I get out of all this? I feel a sense of accomplishment, and pride, in seeing the success that my mentees have achieved. Could they have done it without my mentoring? You bet. Could they have achieved their high level of success without having a mentor? I doubt it – at least not as quickly.
As my mentors have done for me, I feel a responsibility to do the same for others. That’s what my mentors have taught me – ask, learn, give back.
Please share your experiences on being a mentor at the 6FigureJobs Blog and pay it forward!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Old Irish women think that tea is the answer to every problem and it is usually true. If you are raging about something and you sit down, relax and have some tea you will feel better. If you are in from a rain storm; wet and cold, and you have some tea, you will feel better. If your heart is broken and you can't stop crying, the warm friendly tea will lift your spirits.
So when you say "This sucks!" or "I am so upset about this!" and it is met with the Irish, "You'll have a cup of tea. Go on, you will, you will." Trust me, you will be happy.
Funny enough it is the same in the States, people are saying tea is the answer to everything. Herbal tea, Green tea, Irish tea, just tea! Not to be confused with the infamous "tea party" that is a whole different kettle of fish, that one.
For example, yesterday all day, I felt sick to my tummy. I had no idea why and no matter what I did if wouldn't go away. Finally around midnight I Googled "Home remedies for upset stomach" and came up with TEA! Herbal tea with ginger, or straight ginger tea. I remembered that I have some "Stomach Ease" tea, and it does NOT taste good. Actually it is so rank, that I thought it would force on to throw up and thus feel better. Last night I made some and added a heafty tablespoon of ginger-which made it taste even worse,BUT, but I felt better with in 5 minutes. I could have saved myself feeling sick all day had I thought to Google earlier.
So the next time someone says, "have some tea." Have it. Whatever the problem is, the tea will help ya!
~Green tea is also on the 14 Superfoods list for optimal health~
Thursday, September 23, 2010
I read this article today because I have been completely under the spell of this song for the last 6 or so weeks. I never, well rarely listen to lyrics, not that they aren't important, but I admit that I listen to music based on my initial gut feeling when I hear it. I love the music, the melody, the riffs, whatever you want to call it, that is what draws me in. This new song does both and it hits me on a very personal level.I have never been in that kind of relationship, thank God, or whomever for that, but I know it all to well, growing up in a violent household. In fact, I am sure if my mom were still with us, this song would get to her. It is VERY VERY VERY real. My father, who I love dearly, could be a scary sun of a bitch with the drink in him, and so in a way I was lucky to witness domestic violence, and what it could be at an early age. I see the warning signs very quickly.
I was dating a guy a few years back and I loved him, or I thought I did and leaving was the hardest thing I ever did, but he got really drink one night and punched me, then passed out. I remember sitting outside on his porch, well our porch because we lived together at the time and I called my sister crying and asked her if I could slowly send me belongings to her so I could "ease" out of the situation. It took me about 3 weeks, but I got away and it was hard for many reasons and the biggest one is that you continue to remember all the good reasons you are with someone, so the abuse seems like a one off, but it isn't, and it escalates. That was that and it was over. It hurt, but it was over.
Violent people usually don't mean to hurt anyone, they just can't control their emotions and it is really a sad thing. Look at OJ Simpson? He couldn't handle his rage and what happened? The murder of two people. Classic case of rage. Every case isn't like that, and that is extreme, but if you are being abused, get out. If someone you are with yells at you, calls you names, or starts punching things, even the wall-that is a BIG RED FLAG to get out.
I think this song is pretty amazing, and I commend Eminem for doing it, especially because of his past. Maybe it will make a difference in someone's life.
The power of music, especially popular music is huge. This song hasn't even been out for 2 months and everyone is talking about it, and it all over the radio.
Here is the article from MTV:
Eminem's 'Love The Way You Lie' Warns Of The Cycle Of Abuse
Dating violence expert says clip's 'warning' message is heightened by Eminem's and Rihanna's personal histories.
By Rochell Thomas, with reporting by Adam Murphy
In Eminem's controversial new video "Love the Way You Lie," love and violence intertwine seamlessly. One moment, a couple sleeps in each other's arms, the next, they're violently fighting, tossing bed sheets. Later, they kiss passionately, pressed up against the same wall the man has just punctured with his fist. All the while, Rihanna croons the chorus which includes the line, "That's all right because I like the way it hurts." But is it really all right?
Less than 24 hours after MTV debuted the video for Eminem's chart-topping single about the evolution of his relationship with his ex-wife, Kim, many are wondering: Does "Love the Way You Lie" glamorize domestic violence?
"The most important thing the video is doing is raising the topic of dating violence among young people," Stephanie Nilva, executive director of sexual assault and trauma resource center Day One, told MTV News.
An expert in relationship violence and domestic abuse prevention, Nilva praised the clip for accurately depicting a pattern typical of abusive relationships. The video stars actors Dominic Monaghan and Megan Fox as a couple involved in a relationship that starts out passionately and lovingly but quickly devolves into a violent affair.
Nilva said the video is especially potent because of Eminem's and Rihanna's personal histories with violence or abuse. "Eminem's history is ...as someone who sings a lot about violence," she said. "And Rihanna's experience [is] as someone who was abused by Chris Brown."
That history, she added, is what will make people look at the video and see "that the message is not 'Don't you want a relationship like mine?' The message is a warning sign."
During the four-minute span of "Love the Way You Lie," Rihanna alternately sneers in the frame and seems to physically diminish before finally crumbling to the ground in front of the burning house that serves as her backdrop throughout. The images may be melodramatic but symbolically, they are accurate, according to Nilva. "Someone who is victimized in a relationship does become smaller, does lose their power and their strength."
"I think we tried as hard as we could to not glorify the violence, to try and explain that this was a relationship that is by no means ideal and a relationship that probably should have ended a lot sooner than it did," Monaghan told MTV News recently. "The concept of 'Love the Way You Lie' was essentially a look at the relationship that Eminem was in with his wife, Kim, so I kind of felt like I was playing Eminem a little bit, and Megan Fox was kind of playing Kim.
"It's the story of them getting to know each other, and it's the story of their tumultuous relationship, and it was the story of the breakdown of their relationship," he continued. "Ultimately, what I think he's trying to say in the song ... is that he should have walked away a little bit quicker than he did and not let it get as messy as it did."
To learn more about how you can prevent or get help for dating abuse and domestic violence, visit DayOneNY.org. If you are involved in an abusive relationship and would like help you can also call 1-800-214-4150. Love should not hurt.
Do you think the "Love the Way You Lie" video conveys its anti-abuse message? Share your thoughts with us in the comments.
This woman has really lived and enjoyed life, raised a family and she is still going strong. She is in her 70s, originally from the middle east, Muslim, and a wonderful spirit. It was so fascinating talking to her about her experiences in the world and in that 30 or 40 minutes that we spoke, we made a connection of sorts. She opened up to me about some sad moments in her life and we just had a great talk.
It is a amazing to me how you live your life and then suddenly you meet someone you never knew and a whole new world opens up.
I feel truly blessed that I met her today and had a talk, all because of a Westie :0)
Thursday, September 16, 2010
After a lot of tears, and trying to talk things out, I am at the end of it. I just can't keep trying to figure things out and fix things that can't be fixed, so tonight I am going out with the girls to have a super night out in San Francisco. I can't wait and it could not have come at a better time!
I hope you are all having a fabulous week, day, month, whatever!!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Why Is There A Spider On My Head? How to keep your day job and NEVER make it in the "industry".
and I have a scene to finish for my day job-but mine is in the industry so it is okay!
Right now I am hungry, but wanted to check in with everyone.. Hope you are all having a fabulous day where ever you are!!!
Friday, September 10, 2010
I am there in line, behind a woman ordering what must have been the biggest sandwich I had ever seen in my life when a huge man~I'm talking huge! Really fat, big man-sorry not being rude, it is just the way to describe him-comes in from the other side and starts demanding the lady making the other lady's lunch give him 'free samples'.
How would I even get close to explaining his personality to you folks? I am not sure. He was beyond normal rude, even for a New Yorker-not that he was one-but you know what I mean, that busy, rushed New York way of bossing people around. He was more like....hrm? Oh, oh I got it. Did you ever see the film, "That Thing You Do"? Well in that film there is a music producer that the lead singer Jimmy goes up to and tries to promote the band and when he does this, the producer fella spits out food as he screams at him. This guy in Vons, was like that.
He was a character played by Chris Farley on SNL, and I kept checking to see if Punk'd had been reinstated and Ashton Kutcher was there with his crew.
So this man decided he was more important than me or anyone else and after he got his free food-and more than I normally eat in a day-again, not trying to be bad, but it is the truth-he ordered a sandwich with all sorts of extra stuff on it. It was actually making me lose my appetite.
Then he took the sandwich after agreeing to pay extra for the extra stuff, and went on his merry way.
Apparently this man comes in every day and does the same thing and then goes into the men's room and eats it there! So I-super sleuth that I am-followed him to the loo and sure enough he went in with a sandwich and came out without one.
Unbelievable what people will do! I said to the nice lady working behind the counter, "well maybe he needs the money" trying to have compassion for him. He drove away in a brand new Mercedes! What a jerk!
You know if I ever did something like that, which I wouldn't, I was an actress I can go days without food, but if I did, I would certainly be nice to people and not make a scene!
Ain't nobody go no class anymore? I'm just sayin'!
Monday, September 6, 2010
1. The Golden Gate Bridge
2. The Bay Bridge
3. Pacific Heights
4. The stairs on the steep streets
5. Market Street
6. Union Square
7. Union Street
8. The Millenium restaurant
9. The Embarcadero
10. The laidbackness (not sure if that is a word)
11. Crissy Field
12. North Beach
13. The Marina/Cow Hollow
14. Macy's (the big one in Union Square)
15. The weather
16. The fog!
17. San Mateo
18. The architecture
19. The vibe
20. The Redwoods/Marin County/Sausalito
There are so many things I love about San Francisco that it is hard to chose just a few! :0)
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Phoebe on the show 'Friends' didn't eat meat "because it's murder, cold blooded murder" as she put it. I don't know about that, but part of me does agree. I am conflicted!
In any case, so starts my attempt to go vegan. I have switched completely back to vegetarian, with the occasional fish. I was out to dinner about a month ago with a vegetarian friend and when I asked her if she ate fish she replied, "no food with a face.", which is also very Phoebe.
Then I was watching 'Master Chef' the other night and one of the chefs started crying because they had to kill a crab and the guilt set in for the crab cake I had just eaten for lunch!
Without all the animals rights issues, the bottom line is I feel better on a plant food diet. I don't know if I can give up all animal products, like butter and other dairy. I don't drink milk anymore, but do like it in my coffee, lattes and cappuccinos. I use powered creamer at home for coffee-and weirdly enough, I like that tasted better, but at Starbucks and places like that, I do consume dairy. As well I do love eggs, and cheese. I can live without a lot of cheese, but the occasional cheese is okay.
Making the transition to vegetarian is quite easy, but to vegan I am not sure. My new plan is to eat vegan 4 out of 7 days a week and see how I do. I have read a lot of books about how to stay healthy while doing this and even subscribe to vegetarian magazine, so we will see what happens.
Wish me luck!!
I have already lost 12 lbs in 3 weeks, without even trying.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Okay, maybe I shouldn't be taking advice from Rebecca Bloomwood-a fictional character who just happens to have my love for shopping-well not so much shopping as buying.
I hate to shop, but I love to buy. I love to get new shoes, new accessories and new pretty things!
Check out my latest!!
And it isn't my fault-if God, or whomever the powers that be are, didn't want me to spend, He/they wouldn't make it so darn easy to get credit.
Technically, I could be dead before these charges even hit my card. The 'big one', world war three, a 747 could crash into my building, etc.. so really, why deny myself something pretty-okay two pretty things-when my life could be over and any given second? Honestly
It isn't like I really had a choice in the matter. These two dresses were practically calling my name. I will look so fabulous in them, it will be 'sick' as they say these days. Can't you just see me shopping in downtown San Francisco on a sunny fall afternoon in the ruffled one? Or perhaps hanging out at a trendy coffee house, or cupcake shop, or vegan cafe, in the Marina or Cow Hollow? Not to mention either of these anywhere in L.A. Like the Grove! One must looks one's best when at the Grove.
I am just sayin'....magic cards!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
On nasty hot days like today, (currently 95/feels like 102), this is what I think about. Walking, running, biking across on a summer day when the ice cold breeze kisses your face and your body is wrapped in moist air and you can see your breath! Oh I need a 'summer' home in San Francisco. ;p
Golden Gate Bridge June 2009 ~ photo by me!
Okay, I'll admit it, the day this was taken, it was FREEEEEZING. The breeze didn't feel like kisses, it felt like knives stabbing me and I was physically in pain up there. I never ran so fast...followed by a hot cocoa at the Warming Hut-weird for June-but I'll take it any day over this miserable heat!