Friday, April 30, 2010

Must Do in 2010

Get my newest novel published and on the shelves at Barnes & Noble . . .

Sell my screenplay, have it made and see it on the big screen . . .

Own a pair of Jimmy Choos. . .

& not necessarily in that order ;0)

Just sayin', a girl has to have goals.

That Brown Stuff is Smog!

Ever fly into Los Angeles and see that big brown piece of crap sitting over the city? That is our air a few months out of the year~

And no, you shouldn't exercise in it.

Welcome to Los Angeles! The rich, the beautiful live here and so does a thick, orange-brown, thing that will burn your throat, infect your heart and lungs, make you cough, and we call this thing-SMOG.

People don't take it seriously and I used to not as well. When I first moved here from being in Arizona, I was like, "The smog isn't bad, what are people talking about?" I went running every day in the foothills of the Sam Fernando Valley. I couldn't see the smog, so I thought it wasn't there. Truth is, I was in it, so that is why I couldn't see it.

One day I as at work and started coughing up blood! EEK! I went to the hospital and after a full check up and black stuff coming out of my nose, the doctor asked me if I had been exercising outside? Like I was crazy to even think about that.
I had been, the smog got me and I had a virus in my heart.

Cut to several years later, on my way to Sydney and after doing a chest X ray for TB, they found a spot on my lung. I had to go through all the lung cancer tests-I don't smoke and am healthy-I run the marathon for F*sake!-they discovered I had a tear in my lung, from running the marathon. I told them that I always run in the mornings and or at the gym. They said, prolonged running in the valley is what caused it.. Sheesh-the price of fitness!

I have a friend that moved here from out of state and she was always complaining, "What's wrong with people in L.A, no one is outside!!" usually in the middle of summer, 100+ temps in the Valley and thick, dangerous smog levels. I would explain to her, "Dangerous smog levels today, so people stay inside". She thinks that this is some conspiracy to get people to join gyms. Smog isn't real.. pish posh! LOL

Okay, whatever.

Another friend of mine mentioned they were coughing up black stuff and their throat has been burning...well being outdoorsy, it is the smog again.

I love L.A. I love to go hiking, I love to run the parks, and I walk every where, BUT when there is smog and smog warnings, or you can't see the mountain that is across the street, it isn't safe. That is just the way it is. The beach cities are better, and anywhere over the hill towards the water is safer, but just be careful. It's real, it's here and it will hurt ya if you give it a chance.

Here are two photos of the lovely L.A. air.

Thursday, April 29, 2010


Are all Prius drivers douchebags? Or have they all joined a club where douchebaggery is the way of life?

Why is it when you are driving around Los Angeles and someone is in front of you going at least 10 miles UNDER the speed limit, 9.9 times out of 10, it is some A-hole in a Prius? If they are texting as well, then it is even worse because you can add weaving to the already bad driving.

The people I encounter on the roads that are in their Prius all drive way too slow and that is dangerous. I don't understand why these people think that it is okay to act like that.

They think they are doing the world a huge service by driving a hybrid, and the truth is, they aren't. My old fashion car gets almost as much mpg as a Prius and guess what folks? I am not a douchebag when driving. I go the speed limits, I pay attention and I actually use the turn signal.

Side note: why do Prius owners think they don't need to use a turn signal?

UGH! The thing is, to the group of jerks driving these ugly, expensive, cars, you aren't really saving anything because the pollution caused by nickel and rare earth metals (dysprosium and neodymium) used in the Prius battery are just as bad on the environment as petrol used in normal cars.

That said, it is obvious that you aren't so smart because you spent $15K + more than I did on my car for the occasional 10mpg more. 10 whole miles more? You do the math, you really didn't save any money, and then you went and joined the asshole driving club.

Why? Why? Why? Do you Prius owners insist on driving this way?

If you really want to save the planet, get out of your twenty five THOUSAND dollar car, buy a bike and pedal around the city, oh but wait, then you won't be able to text all the live long day-what a concept.

Funny how drivers of other hybrids don't act like this, so I wonder is it in Toyota's contract that you have to be an ass, douchebag or wanker to own one of these cars?

I am just sayin'!

Keeping It Real

Ever hear someone say, "I'm just keeping it real"? Of course you have, we all have. It is the staple speak for the 20 somethings and early 30 somethings out there. The sad fact and truth here is that when someone says that, they are doing anything and everything but, keeping it real. Usually it means they are lying to you about something.

My most recent experience with this kind of, excuse me here, bullshit was when I went to join a local gym for the summer. I belong to a bigger, nicer, more expensive gym on the other side of town-Los Angeles-so it is not great when slammed with work to make that trek-but I digress.

I called up this local gym where my friend goes for a low $25 per month feel. If I went the entire year, at that rate, it would still be less than a couple months at the other club I belong to.

I am the easiest person to sell a gym membership to for many reasons, mostly because I don't need a sales pitch. I don't care about new equipment, etc. as long as it is clean, and you have good classes, I am there. The money isn't an issue since the other gym is the most expensive in the city.

But this wanker salesperson said to me, "I'm just keeping it real" about 15 times when he was lying so much he couldn't even keep track of his lies. Also he was talking "street" and said he was from Queens/Brooklyn, you know what I mean with the accent and all that, so I was expecting to see a certain type of person and when I got there he was a 40 something tall, midwestern white guy that was anything but "street". He basically put on that fake accent and all that hip hop talk because I mentioned I was from New York. I mentioned it to him when he immediately went into his sales pitch on the phone. I said, "Look I am from New York, I don't have time for all this, tell him how to join" he said, "oh oh, I'm down, I feel ya, I feel ya," ala Cuba Gooding-Jerry MacGuire-...


He was putting on an act, lying about everything, and was NOT keeping anything real.

The icing on the cake was that went I went in to sign up, even though the price changed daily and the lies were more than he could keep track off, I didn't because he told the biggest lie-he said I could pay for a few months at a time, cash and not have it come out of my checking account, or credit card, this was another lie. The price was $15 more a month than he said, and I had to link an account. This guy didn't keep anything real and he lost my business because of it.

So my warning to you is that when someone says, "I'm keeping it real" run in the other direction.

I am just sayin'!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Dear Jimmy Choo-A Deal

Dear Jimmy Choo,

I have been thinking a lot about your shoes and how I can help you help me acquire a pair. (The ones in the photo would be nice!)

I will do you a deal.

If you give me a pair at the discounted rate of 76% off, I will promise to wear them all over town. I will help you get more people into your stores, since every time I am there, the ratio of sales people to customers is off. People need to see a gal like me walking around in fabulous shoes and then they will come.

They will come from all over the Southland to buy the shoes, so by selling me a pair at a lower rate, you will sell tons more and therefore make heaps of unexpected money.

I am more connected than Verizon in this town, and I promise you that I will always wear your shoes to all the award shows around town and interviews I go on when I am rich and famous.


Unlike most celebs, I will promise to wear them every single day. I won't just wear to one event and toss them aside. I will take great care of them.

So really you will be helping me and I will be helping you; this is what I like to call a "win-win" situation.

Thank you for your fabulous shoes, and I look forward to picking mine up later this week in Beverly Hills.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Kayak across the Pacific Ocean!

OMG So last night a friend of mine and I were goofing off on Google maps, and we typed in my old address in Sydney, Australia to Burbank, CA and look at the directions! Hilarious..

The best part!!

Kayak across the Pacific Ocean

But look at the map! Doesn't it stand to reason that one wouldn't go all the way up to Japan and then over to the Canadian border when Kayaking to California from Sydney? That is just silly! LOL

It is so funny...the directions are way too long to use up my whole blog-so trust me. It gives like 118 different turns including going all the way through Australia, then kayaking-which it has like 3 funny..

If You Give A Shopaholic A Credit Card

If you give a shopaholic a credit card, she's going to buy a new wallet to put it in.

When she gets the wallet, she'll probably want a new handbag.

Then she will look into the mirror to make sure she looks fabulous.

When she looks in the mirror she will notice a hair out of place, so she will go to the spa for a hair cut.

When she is finished, she'll want to buy some beauty products. She'll start charging.

She will get carried away & buy everything in the spa.

She may even end up getting a massage as well! When she is done, she'll probably want to relax.

She will get a pedicure and manicure. She will need to get new clothes to go with her new hair, nails and toes. She will buy a few new outfits, and then, she will want to walk around the mall.

She will end up in a gallery, where she sees lots of pictures. When she looks at the pictures, she'll get excited and she'll want to learn how to paint herself. She'll sign up for art classes, get paper and art supplies.

She will paint some pictures. When she is finished, she'll want to get an expensive frame.

Then she'll want to hang her pictures in her apartment. Which means she will need. . .nails.

She will hang up the pictures and stand back to look at them. Looking at them will remind her that she needs pillows, lamps and all sorts of stuff for her apartment.

So she'll head back out shopping. While she is out, she will get thirsty and then she will want an expensive coffee drink.

And chances are she has no cash so she will ask for a credit card.

*Image is not my artwork-artist unknown*

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I'm Sorry, We'll Need to X-ray Your Ho-ho

A new threat to the US security is on the rise. What is it you ask? A nuke? No that is so 1960-1990! The 80s are over. Bombs on planes? No, that went out in the 90s as well. Hijacking planes? Not again, chemical warfare? Not really necessary since most cities in the US have massive smog.

The new threat that the US gov is actually worried about is- drum roll-I should say 'dumb roll'- school lunches!! Ta da!!

From WASHINGTON –" School lunches have been called many things, but a group of retired military officers is giving them a new label: national security threat."

The idea behind this moronic idea is that kids are getting so fat that the military won't be able to recruit them. Send Jamie Oliver back to the UK and save your sons and daughters from the war-the stupid war we shouldn't be in.

The United States of America does a lot of things that make the rest of the world think we are idiots-The New Housewives of Idiotville, The Jersey Shore-the show, not the place. . .okay, well maybe the place as well...just sayin' . . .Jerry Springer...and now we release an actual AP article in national newspapers saying that school lunches are a security threat.

I can see it now, members of terrorist groups all over the world have stopped making bombs, and are wrapping Ho Hos instead and in a plot to fatten up the already fat country, they will send them over.

"Although all branches of the military now meet or exceed recruitment goals, retired Navy Rear Adm. James Barnett Jr., a member of the officers group, says the obesity trend could affect that.

"When over a quarter of young adults are too fat to fight, we need to take notice," Barnett said. He noted that national security in the year 2030 is "absolutely dependent" on reversing child obesity rates."

Really? This is what this guy is thinking about?

You know how America likes to over react to things, just wait until you will no longer be allowed to bring any junk food onto a plane. Hey, maybe it will be a good thing for us. Fast food places in airports will go away, all over the States they will fail, and Fresh & Easys will pop up on every corner, Jamba Juice will have stands where Mickey D's once stood proudly.

Maybe Jamie Oliver and the girl from the Biggest Loser will become part of the national security team!

Oh America, how I am so embarrassed by your stupidity.

Just sayin'

* a friend of mine commented the title of this on my FB page and it made me laugh out loud, so I used it for the title of today's post *

Monday, April 19, 2010

Doh! You're Not Welcome Here

How funny is this.

A few years ago I started applying to work on The Simpsons as a board artist and or character layout artist. I haven't been hired despite passing the test more than once.

Sometimes I don't pass, but sometimes I do. Once I took the test for a friend, because he didn't have time and we were conducting an experiment, the joke was on me, he passed and was offered a job for the same exact test that I didn't pass, it was identical...since I did them both.

Oh the industry.

To be fair, there are always politics involved and I have no ill will towards the Simpsons. I still would love to work on that show someday. This isn't about that, not being hired, not really.

The last time I took a storyboard test for the show was over a year ago, and I took that test because I was told that the earlier test I did was passing but the new director wanted to see another look. Fair enough, doing tests over and over for the same show without getting paid is always fun *sarcasm*-can't be helped on this subject-but I keep trying, showing them that I will do anything to get a job on that show, because I really want to work there.

I heard nothing for a few months and then was told that I wouldn't be offered a job at this time, which was fine because I was slammed on another short for another studio; this was summer 2009.

A couple days ago I went to my mailbox and saw a letter from Starz Media/Film Roman and thought to myself, "What is this? I haven't applied for a job there in over a year?". I had actually submitted a portfolio a few months back for a different show, but got the portfolio back, no test given though. Fair enough, it happens. But I digress, this time I was curious, so I tore open the letter to see a rejection from the Simpsons show.

I was like, "what?" I was so confused that I emailed the HR woman-who I love btw-and she said she wasn't sure and maybe it was from last year.

So now the Simpsons are not hiring me, again, they are sending preemptive strikes, letting me know that if I wasn't feel insecure about myself already where their yellow family of cartoon foolery is concerned that they will not be hiring me, and I didn't even apply.

Oh well, I guess I should thank them for saving my time this year...LOL

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Why Would I Get Rid of Something I Love?

What am I referring to? My debt! Yes, call me crazy, but I love my debt. Why would I get rid of it? My debt has helped me in so many ways, he doesn't bother me, so why chuck him?

You know those annoying ads on TV, especially late night, "Are you in debt? Get rid of your debt in 3 easy steps"? UGH, get rid of your own debt, I love mine.

The ads don't tell you that once you do this, your debt is gone, but guess who goes with your debt? Your credit cards! They pick up and leave you. You can no longer count on them for endless shopping, dining out, or screenwriting contests. It is like you don't exist to them anymore. They once loved you, but now they side with the debt you just chucked and leave you.
Debt has always been loyal to me, so the very idea of my leaving my debt makes me sad. What would I do without him? My life would be different. My debt defines me. I can't imagine being without someone who has helped me get the things in life that I deserve.

Shoes, handbags, fabulous scarves, pretty dresses, belts, jewelry, hats, and any little thing I desire. Without my debt, I wouldn't have any of these things and the television ad wants me to turn my back on my debt just like that, without even saying "Thank you."
My debt is helping me build my credit rating and why does that count? So I can get more stuff, and actually help my debt grow more then I can be defined by larger debt and larger stuff, like an apartment on the Upper West Side, or a cool-kitchy condo in Los Angeles, and maybe a new car. Yay! If I got rid of my debt, I wouldn't be able to do any of this for a long time.

So please stop telling me to get rid of my debt, you get rid of yours, mine is happy right where he is. We have a solid long lasting relationship.

Friday, April 16, 2010

2010 More Like It!

Okay, didn't I just say the world wasn't ending? WOW! These are beautiful, but I hope everyone is doing okay over there. It was already crazy expensive, can you imagine what it will be like now? As well, all flights from No America to & from Europe, fly over Iceland and they can't fly through "ash", when will they be able to? Amazing what is happening.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

2012 Is 18 Months Away & Yet I Am On Facebook

Okay, really? Really? Seriously? Do you people actually think the world is going to end in about 18 months? The earth is going to flop poles and everything will get thrown into chaos? Do you really and honestly believe this or do you just like torturing the rest of us with such nonsense every other day on your Facebook and Twitter?
If you really and truly believe the world is ending, then I have only one question for you.
What the hell are you doing on Facebook and Twitter when you could be enjoying the rest of your short life?

The truth is, it isn't going to happen, if it does happen it will be thousands of years from now and we won't know about it. Science tells us that the earth will meet it's end someday, but really in just under two years?

Let's just say it was going to happen, then you wouldn't need to worry so much about the health care reform you complain about all the time, or the job market, your retirement-hell take all that money and spend it, the world is ending.

You have a better chance of dying in a plane crash or finding a tumor than dying in December 2012 from the world actually ending.

If the Mayans were so smart, why are they gone? You think they took one look at the future and said, "forget this, we are outta here!"

Yes there are a lot of quakes going on, and storms, and all sorts of shit. There are also toxins in the air, oil spills, cancer, car crashes, going on, you could die at any minute, so instead of telling yourself and all of us that we are all doomed, close your laptop, get off Facebook and enjoy the rest of you life.

This all said, it is fun to goof off and watch bad action flicks, but honestly people.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Starbucks, A Way of Life

When you go to your local Starbucks, good tasting coffee is probably not your main concern, because folks, let's be honest here; their coffee does not taste good. What does taste good is caramel, vanilla syrup, cinnamon, whipped cream, chocolate, and the feeling when that first drop slides down your throat.

You love going into your local Starbucks on the way to work; you stand in line, you see the same people every day and the baristas know you by name. Isn't that nice? Even in New York & Los Angeles where millions of people are; at your Starbucks, they know you, your personally and after a few times, they even know your drink.
It feels good when you walk in and they nod at you with that secret wink just between the two of you, you are a VIP, you don't even have to order, you get your drink, almost right every time.

Starbucks interiors are cozy and welcoming with big cozy chairs, and warm color schemes. They make it inviting so you stay and hang out, drink more, spend more.

They have WiFi at most of them nowadays and you can't go into any without seeing someone working on their laptop.

Writers love Satrbucks, and you see all types.

The serious novelist with his cappuccino, or Americano (why they sell this in America is beyond me? It is just water and espresso, you might as well get coffee for less than half the price)
The young aspiring TV writer with his/her Frap, and muffin, usually looking strung out.
The grad student writing their dissertation-no sleep, espresso & chocolate covered espresso beans near by.
It is great, you feel great just being a part of the whole experience, even if only for a few minutes a day.

There are hundreds of ways just to order one cup of coffee and even that is fun.

Starbucks has made a fortune on the lifestyle they offer and even coffee snobs go there, so why fight it anymore. It is a way of life.

And before anyone says anything. I do support local, small coffee places, and 90% of the time, the coffee is much better, but Starbucks is also part of my routine, because I know what I am getting when I go and they, (like big national banks) are every where-

*April 15th FREE coffee from 4-10, bring your mug*

Monday, April 12, 2010

More Flies With Honey

Happy Monday everyone out there in cyber space.

I am sad that I had to remove a blog due to actual threats by people and I still don't understand that type of behavior. I mean, it is one thing to really believe that you are right and to argue your points, which is the point of an argument-to get the other person or persons to sway to your side, but to out and out threaten someone for something as stupid as not wanting to leave big banks for credit unions?

Yes I was threatened and called a communist bitch because I had a blog on Thursday asking for simple reasons to why someone like me would benefit by switching to a credit union and people got really upset with me. I wanted to keep the blog up, but then it went too far and the words, "If I am ever in .....(my city)...and see you, I will fucking kill you, and your big bank, you commie bitch-it's people like you ruining this country" and it went on.

Being in shock over that all weekend, I am still confused to why someone would act like that? I did get called stupid and immature because I wouldn't agree with one guy, that was just a bit silly, but to actually threaten someone? WOW

Here is the thing, many people after talking to me about why I stay with bigger banks agreed that for me, ME not them, right now, a credit union would NOT be good; at least not for day to day banking, which is all I need right now. I may join the local entertainment one for just savings, and that is free, no fees accept the one time joining fee of $5. There is still the holds on deposits and no fast access to my money, but if it is a savings it is better than what I have now, or maybe it isn't better but it isn't worse, like having a checking account would be.

I am just mystified to people's behavior in this day and age.

It is like the extreme religious groups that kill others for having different beliefs?
the crazy political rants that people go on and threats made to the president and or candidates?

Does violence really solve anything people?

Didn't your mother teach you that you get more flies with honey?

Friday, April 9, 2010

Blog Stuff. . .

Thanks to everyone who commented on my last posting about banks and credit unions.

Most of you had valid reasons and great posts, some of you however, took it a bit too far.

Assuming things about me, or which bank I use. I did name 3 big banks, and by the way, I don't belong to the one big bank that everyone seems to be slamming.

That said, tell it to me like a 2 year old does not to slam me, or cut me down; I mean, really, is that how you talk to a 2 year old? What that means is explain it to me in terms of my every day life, not %s and the bigger picture for you or your family.

I tried my best to approve all comments but some of them I couldn't and I hope you understand.

I will not publish comments that call me names.
Threaten me.
Name specifics about anything-banks and credit unions-if they are lying and slanderous for legal reasons, I can't do that.

You shouldn't be reading my blog if you are so inclined to be so obnoxious. It is like those people that sign up on fan pages for stuff or people they hate and then they slam them. Really, what do you hope to accomplish?

The people that were nice, and explained things definitely helped lead me towards a credit union someday, but not today. That is my right.

The people that were obnoxious, slanderous, threatening and or just kept repeating the same stuff I have read on websites, you are the people I don't ever want as part of my financial family. You have driven me further from ever wanting to join a credit union.

For those of you who are confused about this post. I had a blog about switching from a big bank to a credit union and what are the benefits for someone like me that just wants to be able to access her accounts and have her deposits go in immediately, as well as have no fees.

There were a lot of assumptions made and a lot of name calling, that is not acceptable. I respectively ask those of you to not read my blog anymore, because clearly we see things differently.

It makes me sad that people have to act like that...I am just sayin'

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Nothing Fresh & Easy Today

Yay! Finally Fresh & Easy has opened in my neighborhood. I have been so excited about this, because I love Tesco (The company in the UK that owns Fresh & Easy), and used to shop at Fresh & Easy all the time in Hollywood when I worked down there.
Well today was opening day in Burbank, and let me tell you, it was NOT EASY and I have no idea how fresh anything was because you couldn't get in.
There was a line down the street that reminded me of June on a Saturday at Space Mountain at Disneyland, and of course the parking lot was full. I had to park two blocks away.
When I got to the front door, they were actually stopping people and letting them in so many at a time. There was a girl there with a map. There were no shopping baskets or carts. I asked her about them and she said, "We only have a few, you'll have to carry your stuff." After 15 minutes I was let in, I couldn't move, it was packed. The day after Thanksgiving on 5th Ave. in Manhattan would be less crowded.
This isn't their fault, but maybe they should have had a soft opening first? I mean, if they don't even have enough baskets/carts?
I took three tiny steps and turned around to leave and was stopped by the man at the door. I just said to him, "Sorry, but nothing is worth this." I was smiling of course.
When I reached the parking lot, two young guys stopped me because I had no groceries and I said the same thing followed by, "It would be faster to drive to Hollywood than to endure that, I'll come back when it slows down." One of the boys said, "Well, yeah *giggle giggle (yes HE giggled), if you are here to shop." Then he looked at his buddy and they both laughed at me.
Shopping? The idea of that! How crazy am I?
It's a grocery store? What the hell else would I have been there to do? Was there a celebrity signing? Was there free alcohol and dance music? No, so of course I was there to shop.
I ended up at Vons, no lines, no drama.

*This said, I will go back because I love it, but I just may wait a week or so.