Friday, November 18, 2011
I was watching Private Practice last night for the "Intervention" episode and it was truly amazing-well the first part. I didn't care as much for the 2nd episode as the first one-maybe just the direction. In any case, Charlotte, (Kadee Strickland) was telling Amelia, (Caterina Scorsone) how she would do something terrible, like kill someone and never come back from that.
I know this is different, but it finally hit me. All these years since my mother died (2004-Lung cancer) I am broken and I haven't made it back yet. It just isn't the same anymore. Sure I laugh, and play and have great friends etc, but it broke me. I am not sure why it's so hard-I mean, everyone loses their parents-or at least that's the way it's supposed to be.
That said, I miss her every single day and some days it's beyond sad and other days I am okay. The way she described not making it back from something is exactly how I feel. I'll never be the same again, even if I am okay and happy, I'm broken.
It's weird though that this particular episode made sense-grief is an evil bitch isn't she?