Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Minus 40 lbs Day One

So I decided that I need to lose 40lbs. I would be soooo happy if I reach that, I would be happy for 30 and satisfied with 20. I have never been a waif-even when I was 108 lbs, I was never skinny. I am not built like that, but over the years I have gained weight.. with age or whatever. So much that when I saw one of my old art teachers at the CTNXpo in Burbank two years ago he said, "wow you are a bit heavier now". I said, "Hey I used to be anorexic back then." He said, "yeah but at least you were thin." I kinda laughed it off, but then I have been more sleepy than normal and I don't feel as fit.
I am still in an 8.. but to be fair 15 years ago I would have died to be in an 8 instead of a 4 or 6.. so I am bigger. I want to run the Boston marathon, I have my entire life. I can't run fast enough at this weight to do that. So I am going to lose.
To be fair I am at the top of my height/weight range, and to be 20-40 lbs lighter, then I will be at the bottom of it. That is where I am happy.
My boyfriend loves me the way I am-always complimenting my curves, but I look in the mirror and am like, "who is this chubby girl?"
I made excuses all year "I gained weight after my cervical cancer surgery" which is true.. but that is no reason to keep it on. I don't have cervical cancer, and all I do have now is extra weight.. so it's coming off. Today is day one!
I will be posting about it because it helps to be accountable. I am excited. Weight loss, getting healthy again-here I come!

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