An article came out today about the 31 suicides that were recorded last year on the Golden Gate Bridge.
As some of you know, I spoke to a woman moments before she took her own life in Nov 2009. After wandering around on the bridge for over an hour in a daze, I left knowing that I could not save her. It haunted me that entire week. I went back to the bridge almost every day and for what reason, I can not say. I think about that girl and what she must have been feeling and how I was powerless to stop her. Some nights I don't sleep because I hear her crying. I see her face. I hear the helicopters and coast guard boats like it is happening all over. My dreams are more vivid than what I saw in reality.
I have been saddened by it ever since. I have guilt, pain, remorse, and tears for her. I wanted to volunteer for suicide prevention, but was told that after witnessing something like that, there is a waiting period to get over it. I will never get over it.
I also was in the middle of writing a novel about the Golden Gate Bridge-fiction-but yet, truthful.
Last night Nip Tuck aired a new episode and several people asked me if I wrote it. Oddly enough the patient survived a jump from the bridge. Some of his facts were off, but it was awful watching him climb over the side and jump. A place that I have stood and experienced someone's last moments. I didn't write it, but was pleased to see the situation addressed in a popular show.
I got caught up in writing a new spec pilot for a cop drama in Dec and Jan, but after seeing this episode and reading this article, I know that I have to get this book published, because in the light of a fictional story, there is a dark, tragedy that happens far too often.