Friday, September 10, 2010

Lunchtime Laughter!

Oh My God!! ~imagine Chandler/Janice saying this circa 1996 ~ and that describes my experience today grabbing a quick and terribly unhealthy grilled cheese & tomato sammy at Vons!

I am there in line, behind a woman ordering what must have been the biggest sandwich I had ever seen in my life when a huge man~I'm talking huge! Really fat, big man-sorry not being rude, it is just the way to describe him-comes in from the other side and starts demanding the lady making the other lady's lunch give him 'free samples'.

How would I even get close to explaining his personality to you folks? I am not sure. He was beyond normal rude, even for a New Yorker-not that he was one-but you know what I mean, that busy, rushed New York way of bossing people around. He was more like....hrm? Oh, oh I got it. Did you ever see the film, "That Thing You Do"? Well in that film there is a music producer that the lead singer Jimmy goes up to and tries to promote the band and when he does this, the producer fella spits out food as he screams at him. This guy in Vons, was like that.

He was a character played by Chris Farley on SNL, and I kept checking to see if Punk'd had been reinstated and Ashton Kutcher was there with his crew.

So this man decided he was more important than me or anyone else and after he got his free food-and more than I normally eat in a day-again, not trying to be bad, but it is the truth-he ordered a sandwich with all sorts of extra stuff on it. It was actually making me lose my appetite.

Then he took the sandwich after agreeing to pay extra for the extra stuff, and went on his merry way.

Apparently this man comes in every day and does the same thing and then goes into the men's room and eats it there! So I-super sleuth that I am-followed him to the loo and sure enough he went in with a sandwich and came out without one.

Unbelievable what people will do! I said to the nice lady working behind the counter, "well maybe he needs the money" trying to have compassion for him. He drove away in a brand new Mercedes! What a jerk!

You know if I ever did something like that, which I wouldn't, I was an actress I can go days without food, but if I did, I would certainly be nice to people and not make a scene!

Ain't nobody go no class anymore? I'm just sayin'!

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