Skip to main content

Eminem's 'Love The Way You Lie' Warns Of The Cycle Of Abuse

I read this article today because I have been completely under the spell of this song for the last 6 or so weeks. I never, well rarely listen to lyrics, not that they aren't important, but I admit that I listen to music based on my initial gut feeling when I hear it. I love the music, the melody, the riffs, whatever you want to call it, that is what draws me in. This new song does both and it hits me on a very personal level.

I have never been in that kind of relationship, thank God, or whomever for that, but I know it all to well, growing up in a violent household. In fact, I am sure if my mom were still with us, this song would get to her. It is VERY VERY VERY real. My father, who I love dearly, could be a scary sun of a bitch with the drink in him, and so in a way I was lucky to witness domestic violence, and what it could be at an early age. I see the warning signs very quickly.

I was dating a guy a few years back and I loved him, or I thought I did and leaving was the hardest thing I ever did, but he got really drink one night and punched me, then passed out. I remember sitting outside on his porch, well our porch because we lived together at the time and I called my sister crying and asked her if I could slowly send me belongings to her so I could "ease" out of the situation. It took me about 3 weeks, but I got away and it was hard for many reasons and the biggest one is that you continue to remember all the good reasons you are with someone, so the abuse seems like a one off, but it isn't, and it escalates. That was that and it was over. It hurt, but it was over.

Violent people usually don't mean to hurt anyone, they just can't control their emotions and it is really a sad thing. Look at OJ Simpson? He couldn't handle his rage and what happened? The murder of two people. Classic case of rage. Every case isn't like that, and that is extreme, but if you are being abused, get out. If someone you are with yells at you, calls you names, or starts punching things, even the wall-that is a BIG RED FLAG to get out.

I think this song is pretty amazing, and I commend Eminem for doing it, especially because of his past. Maybe it will make a difference in someone's life.

The power of music, especially popular music is huge. This song hasn't even been out for 2 months and everyone is talking about it, and it all over the radio.

Here is the article from MTV:


Eminem's 'Love The Way You Lie' Warns Of The Cycle Of Abuse

Dating violence expert says clip's 'warning' message is heightened by Eminem's and Rihanna's personal histories.

In Eminem's controversial new video "Love the Way You Lie," love and violence intertwine seamlessly. One moment, a couple sleeps in each other's arms, the next, they're violently fighting, tossing bed sheets. Later, they kiss passionately, pressed up against the same wall the man has just punctured with his fist. All the while, Rihanna croons the chorus which includes the line, "That's all right because I like the way it hurts." But is it really all right?

Less than 24 hours after MTV debuted the video for Eminem's chart-topping single about the evolution of his relationship with his ex-wife, Kim, many are wondering: Does "Love the Way You Lie" glamorize domestic violence?

"The most important thing the video is doing is raising the topic of dating violence among young people," Stephanie Nilva, executive director of sexual assault and trauma resource center Day One, told MTV News.

An expert in relationship violence and domestic abuse prevention, Nilva praised the clip for accurately depicting a pattern typical of abusive relationships. The video stars actors Dominic Monaghan and Megan Fox as a couple involved in a relationship that starts out passionately and lovingly but quickly devolves into a violent affair.

Nilva said the video is especially potent because of Eminem's and Rihanna's personal histories with violence or abuse. "Eminem's history is ...as someone who sings a lot about violence," she said. "And Rihanna's experience [is] as someone who was abused by Chris Brown."

That history, she added, is what will make people look at the video and see "that the message is not 'Don't you want a relationship like mine?' The message is a warning sign."

During the four-minute span of "Love the Way You Lie," Rihanna alternately sneers in the frame and seems to physically diminish before finally crumbling to the ground in front of the burning house that serves as her backdrop throughout. The images may be melodramatic but symbolically, they are accurate, according to Nilva. "Someone who is victimized in a relationship does become smaller, does lose their power and their strength."

"I think we tried as hard as we could to not glorify the violence, to try and explain that this was a relationship that is by no means ideal and a relationship that probably should have ended a lot sooner than it did," Monaghan told MTV News recently. "The concept of 'Love the Way You Lie' was essentially a look at the relationship that Eminem was in with his wife, Kim, so I kind of felt like I was playing Eminem a little bit, and Megan Fox was kind of playing Kim.

"It's the story of them getting to know each other, and it's the story of their tumultuous relationship, and it was the story of the breakdown of their relationship," he continued. "Ultimately, what I think he's trying to say in the song ... is that he should have walked away a little bit quicker than he did and not let it get as messy as it did."

To learn more about how you can prevent or get help for dating abuse and domestic violence, visit DayOneNY.org. If you are involved in an abusive relationship and would like help you can also call 1-800-214-4150. Love should not hurt.

Do you think the "Love the Way You Lie" video conveys its anti-abuse message? Share your thoughts with us in the comments.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Who Would You Have Dinner With?"

In college and even some job applications that age old essay question always pops up: "Who would you have dinner with, dead or alive, if given the chance?"

In 10th grade, I answered Madonna because I thought she was strong, ambitious, smart and could do whatever she wanted. I admired her so much, and wanted to be like her in many ways-not a pop start-but I wanted to be like her spirit. I was living alone at the time (long story), and had really no one in my life to look up to and she was a role model to me.

In 12th grade we were asked the same question and again, I answered, Madonna for the same reasons. Although at this point I had moved in with my mother and my step-father, who hated me in high school. I was really close to my step-brother John, but still felt isolated and alone and Madonna symbolized someone who made it on her own, even though things were hard.

Throughout the years I have had many idols and of course that question has been asked of me in interviews and su…

Letter To My Sandwich

Dear Grilled Cheese Sandwich,

I just wanted to say thank you for being so yummy and keeping me full during these hard economic times. You are always faithfully there ready for lunch, or a snack, and sometimes breakfast. The way the cheese melts between your two slices of bread, make you irresistible to walk away from and impossible to ignore.

I love you completely with my whole heart. You were the only one who helped me through my college years when I was just new to the adult world. You helped me make the transition back into eating after quitting acting. You guided me through many a late night working in animation those first few years. Now you are back to help me survive through this hiatus.

I will always be grateful that you are there, cheap and easy. Your ability to keep me full for an entire week and yet not requiring that I empty the piggy-bank to do so means more than I can ever express. I believe that we will be seeing a lot of each other in the next few weeks until I start …

How to Be Healthy and Fit-Don't Listen To....

People often ask me about health & fitness because I was so involved in that industry for so many years and I still post about great programs, blogs, books, trainers, online classes, programs etc. (like Denise Austin-who was the first person I trained with in the late 80s to get certified, Michelle Bridges, Mari Winsor, Tracey Anderson and workouts like Barre3, The Bar Method, Zumba, etc).

Here is what I'm going to say.
1) Just because someone has starved themselves and lost a ton of weight, that does NOT make them an expert.
2) Just because someone runs or goes to the gym, that also doesn't make them an expert.
3) People who give sweeping advice like, 'be gluten free, be vegan, only eat 1000 calories a day' etc.. are not qualified to tell you, or anyone else how to be healthy.
4) Also, SKINNY does NOT equal healthy, this is a dangerous concept.

These are important things to remember.
If you want to lose weight or get healthier, please go to your fitness club and spe…