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Socially Accepted Behavior

Today I was innocently walking my dog at half seven in the morning when I spotted him. I tried not to look, but I couldn't tear my own head from turning in his direction. Like there was a force bigger than me keeping my head turned towards him and I had to absorb all that was there to be seen.

He was a 60 year old man clearly suffering from delusions of grandeur when it came to his looks. I know that I think I look young, but I always try~try being the operative word here~to act age appropriate. This man was outside in a Speedo watering his lawn! The image of his wrinkled up body, sagging skin, gray hair on his back, his white socks half way up his calves and his throw-back sandals from the '70s will forever be burned on my brain.

You might think, aw that is sweet an old man just being himself.


He was not an old man, rather an older man, huge difference.

And to add serious insult to injury, when he noticed me he stood up, leaned arching his back displaying his "manhood" proudly in the 3.5 inches or so of spandex swimsuit that were the only defense between his body and the outside world, and ran his fingers through his hair in the manor of some young hot stud. Then, he smiled and. . . WINKED. . .at me.

As I was trying to recover from this experience I noticed a much more pleasant sight. On another block there was a 20 something, maybe early 30s, guy outside wearing a gray t-shirt and plaid flannel boxer shorts walking his dogs. He was also wearing a baseball cap, wide bright smile to greet me that went from ear to ear, and slightly red cheeks telling that he was a little embarrassed to be seen in his skivvies. Which is ironic because this man was gorgeous, like Abercrombie catalog gorgeous, young, and looked hot, but he had a sense of propriety.

It is amazing that two men outside at the same time of day could yield such different emotional and physical reactions from one woman, me and my dog.

What sucks is that I have to think hard to remember the hot guy, but that older man will forever be burned on my brain. *I shutter*

I'm just sayin' put some clothes on if you are pushing 60 and have to be outside~


  1. There are just some things that you cannot "unsee."


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