I'm Just Sayin'

The Cookie Theory!. . .and how I apply it dating. . .Know where this is going yet? Okay, you know how you love cookies? You do, everyone does. I love cookies. I love them. When I have them they are breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, snack, dinner, dessert and snack again until gone, but then I feel sick and don't want to see "Cookie" again for a long time. This is a fast and steady rule I have used in the dating world and every single time I have broken the cookie rule, that has been the end of whatever may have been. You know, you have been eating cookies and you love them because they taste so good and then you are to the point of bliss and you think to yourself, I'll just have one more. . .then regret immediately sets in and you can't even look at Cookie again for a long time. Yes Cookie that you once couldn't get enough of and you even loved Cookie has now become the thing that turns your stomach. You no longer want to see Cookie, hear from Cookie and even bu...

Do you watch Flash Forward? Of course you do; it's amazing! That said, what is with Joseph Fiennes and his eyebrows? Last week's episode was a classic for this. Every single shot of him had his head titled down, brows down, or one slightly raised, and eyes up! It is a cartoon. I think this week I will have my sketchbook in hand so I can sketch this stuff. It is classic and I am sure will be as over used as Tom Cruise's big smile and sunglasses or running scenes in his films. A trademark so to speak. Joseph Fiennes and eyebrows will be synonymous and interchangeable. People all over will be asking for the "Fiennes" when they go into salons, and directors will say, "do a Fiennes" when they want a serious though provoking look that requires the heavy brow! Flash Forward to 6 months from now with all of America giving the "Fiennes" look!

I have to laugh at my own stupid behavior because today for about 4 hours my Facebook account was down and I wasn't happy! I use Facebook for everything! I use it to email my friends that I have their email accounts for. I use it to look for work. I use it to meet new people. What did I ever do before Facebook? Was there a before Facebook? Seriously! How ridiculous is it that we depend so much on the internet for everything? That said, I love Facebook. I love it. I love networking, I love reading my friend's political views, I love hearing what people did today, I love creating stupid status posts that mean nothing. I am truly a Facebook whore and am so happy mine is finally back up and running~ Otherwise, what would I do?

Know that saying "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have"? I love that saying and completely believe in it. Hence why I am an artist and a writer. I love hanging out in trendy clothes, yoga pants, colorful shirts, or whatever I am in the mood for! I have a new twist on that one and I like to call it, "spend for the life you want"...because I believe that if you are always saying..."I can't, I am broke, I can't afford it" blah blah blah you are sealing your fate. While I am not buying a BMW anytime soon, or a new condo in Beverly Hills, I do believe a little spending is healthy. I went to a screening of a show that I love last week and one of the cast members was talking about his wine company and immediately I perked up...WINE? What? Where? WINE? (Shut up, I don't have a problem...wine is made from grapes, grapes are fruit, hence it is good for you! I am just thinking of my heart) I was there and he was talking about his wine venture...

You know this person, we all do. In each and every "group" function you attend, he/she is there just to remind you that in an otherwise insane world, you are not yourself crazy. . .well, not as crazy or annoying as this person. Usually a little unconventional when it comes to looks, this person isn't a classic beauty, but still stands out. Not the diva that comes to mind when you hear the word diva, but yet this person is always the center of attention. The rules of basic behavior and conduct don't apply here. Manors are usually absent, and being rude is the standard for this one. Yes you know them. Remember in your second grade classroom there was that one person that didn't quite fit in, but made your life hell and the teacher's as well? You are in the movie theater and this person is either; switching seats every two seconds, and being loud about it, talking on their cell phone or commenting to the characters the entire film. Usually it is a combination of ...

One of the funniest things about living in Los Angeles is that whenever there is one tiny little cloud, it is called "Storm Watch", and whenever it drops below 80 degrees people all over town start freaking out about the cold weather. I seriously wonder how this city would survive if it actually rained for more than a day and or stayed in the near freezing temps for more than just two days in Jan, between 2 and 4 am only. Hello Angelinos~ 69 dgrees is NOT freezing, nor is 70, 71, or 75! You do not need to crank up the heat and put on your winter clothes. One dark cloud is not a 'storm'. Rain that falls is not a storm just because it is raining. It's like we are living in a fictional city ala The Truman show, and when anything changes beyond the 80-100 sunny sunny sunny, the people inside this bubble don't know what to do. It would be comical, but if you live here you know that when it rains all hell breaks loose. There are wrecks all over the freeways, canyons...

I am so impressed that you race through back streets, school zones and parking lots. I love that your car car costs more than most people make in FOUR YEARS. I wait anxiously just hoping to see you round the corner everyday pretending to drag race with the middle aged woman, but she doesn't even notice you by the way, at the stop light. I love hearing the roar of your engine, tires screech, and music blasting. Your gray hair and comb-over are simply gorgeous. You are definitely the coolest guy around. A sort of Mario Andretti and this is the Grand Prix. The only thing that I haven't seen is your teeny tiny dick, but it is so obvious that I really hope you ask me out soon.

Dear Grilled Cheese Sandwich, I just wanted to say thank you for being so yummy and keeping me full during these hard economic times. You are always faithfully there ready for lunch, or a snack, and sometimes breakfast. The way the cheese melts between your two slices of bread, make you irresistible to walk away from and impossible to ignore. I love you completely with my whole heart. You were the only one who helped me through my college years when I was just new to the adult world. You helped me make the transition back into eating after quitting acting. You guided me through many a late night working in animation those first few years. Now you are back to help me survive through this hiatus. I will always be grateful that you are there, cheap and easy. Your ability to keep me full for an entire week and yet not requiring that I empty the piggy-bank to do so means more than I can ever express. I believe that we will be seeing a lot of each other in the next few weeks until I s...

Or does it drive everyone else crazy that people still text and drive? Am I such a geek that I follow the rules? WTF? Are these people immune from the law? Don't you hate it when you are driving along at normal~5 mph faster than the posted limit usually~and all of a sudden the car in front of you slows down or stops, or weaves and then when you finally pass this moron they are texting? Or even worse you are in the car with someone on the freeway and they start texting someone while changing lanes? Now Mr. Dumblefuckson is putting my life at risk as well. What could possibly be so important? Why? Why? Why? I seriously have no idea what is going on in the obviously tiny little brains that these people have. What is so important that you must text while in a 3000-4000 pound car going 80 on the freeway? Please someone enlighten me, or I will never understand this kind of behavior. Are you a rebel? Are you really just that stupid? Do you not care about other people or yourself? Is the ...

Anthropologie, Barnes & Noble and Starbucks! I am on "hiatus" or "between gigs" which if you read my other blog, you know is Hollywood speak for unemployed, so spending money on anything that I don't need isn't the wisest approach to fiscal sanity over the next few weeks until I start work again. Do I really need an awesome-multi-colored-very-bohemian-yuppy-scarf when it is 105 outside with no sign of dropping below 80 for months? Do I really need another novel, especially because 5 that I ordered from Amazon haven't even arrived yet and I have a stack of about 10 more at home that I haven't started yet? "My name is Stephanie and I am a book-a-holic!" Being a novelist myself is an excuse~"it's research! The author is a friend of mine! I love the tv series! It looks so good! I don't have a new novel with me right now!" And finally, Starbucks. Coffee isn't just coffee anymore and yes people do take about 10-15 minute...