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So in my quest to make the best time to and from San Francisco, which I did by the way, both directions, I finally got stopped. Here is what happened.

I left SF on Saturday around 10:45- 11 am...and guess where I was at 2:15? That would be Santa Barbara, oh and I was going down the 101 as mentioned in an earlier post to avoid the riff raff on the 5. I decided to get out with my dog and walk around State Street...that sucked..waaaaay too busy and I didn't think I should have a pint at my favorite Irish pub on this side of the pond and then drive the remaining 80 miles home.

When I got back on the freeway, it was more packed than the 405 on a Monday morning. I called a friend to have her check sigalert for me. It showed nothing, but finally a sign post said there was a 3 lane crash in Thousand Oaks.

In any case the traffic sucked and I was really hungry because I hadn't eaten yet. Finally the traffic broke! YAY! Zoom Zoom..

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM to 90 mph, and I decided to slow it down, I was almost home why risk it.

I looked in the mirror and who do I see? Yep a cop...FUCK! he motioned for me to pull over and it was like a sitcom, although me being a writer probably was the only one who thought it was funny. Here is why it was funny.

My dog was in his crate in the passenger seat so I had no way of getting to my glove box to show Officer Hottie McHot..oh yeah, boy was hot....I had to get out of my car and walk around, which he didn't like, but whatever. Then I handed him expired registration and asked him, "why did you stop me?"

His reply, well, you were speeding.
Me, really? Weird, what's the speed limit?
Him, 60.. I clocked you at 98
Me in my head...oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!! Like in a Christmas Story.. that is wreckless driving, although I can assure you I was being completely safe.

Is he going to take my car, will I lose my license for a year, should I take off my shirt or just flirt? Cry? What???

Him, and you were on your cell phone.
Me, I was not!
Him, you still have the earphones on.
Me, but these are my hands free.
Him, in Ventura you can't be on the phone and how did you answer? I saw you look down and at that speed.
Me, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese don't give me a ticket. I am not working and can't afford it....*tears welling up*** I am not going to cry because that is pathetic, but pleeeeeeeeeeeeese, I promise I never do anything wrong. I just called a friend cuz the traffic gridlocked and I have been in the car all day, from San Francisco...
Him, at that speed? Not all day, I say about 11?

It was all I could do not to laugh, and I didn't tell him that I spent 45 minutes in downtown SB...LOL

He was super nice and didn't give me a moving violation, but just a talking on cell phone, which is a lot lower. Hey, I know I wasn't going that fast! (hee-hee)

I still made it home in 5 hours...:0)

I figure I was very lucky and want to thank the officer for being so cool!!


  1. what!? A cool cop in that area? I'm in shock. And where is the speed limit 60? I will not regale you with my story of how I got a speeding ticket In Carp when some douche asshole was tailgating me 6 feet from my bumper, per the cop. The cop actually managed to pull us both over. I shouldnt have gotten a ticket but I'm defiant and will not beg.

    PS I thinks its complete bullshit about the ventura cell phone law but whatever. you are extremely lucky.,


  2. I know, I think it is 60 around Seaward Avenue because of boats on hitches or some shit, I think it is 65 everywhere else there, but to be fair, I was going waaaaaay over 60 or 65...LOL

  3. "in Ventura you can't be on the phone"

    Wow, that's kind of abritrary and it reeks of a week excuse to generate revenue.

  4. Idk, maybe they have different laws up there, apparently according to the CA Gov site, the ticket is only $ whatever. I never talk on the phone and drive, figures the one time I do, I get caught! LOL


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