Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I'm Sorry, We'll Need to X-ray Your Ho-ho

A new threat to the US security is on the rise. What is it you ask? A nuke? No that is so 1960-1990! The 80s are over. Bombs on planes? No, that went out in the 90s as well. Hijacking planes? Not again, chemical warfare? Not really necessary since most cities in the US have massive smog.

The new threat that the US gov is actually worried about is- drum roll-I should say 'dumb roll'- school lunches!! Ta da!!

From WASHINGTON –" School lunches have been called many things, but a group of retired military officers is giving them a new label: national security threat."

The idea behind this moronic idea is that kids are getting so fat that the military won't be able to recruit them. Send Jamie Oliver back to the UK and save your sons and daughters from the war-the stupid war we shouldn't be in.

The United States of America does a lot of things that make the rest of the world think we are idiots-The New Housewives of Idiotville, The Jersey Shore-the show, not the place. . .okay, well maybe the place as well...just sayin' . . .Jerry Springer...and now we release an actual AP article in national newspapers saying that school lunches are a security threat.

I can see it now, members of terrorist groups all over the world have stopped making bombs, and are wrapping Ho Hos instead and in a plot to fatten up the already fat country, they will send them over.

"Although all branches of the military now meet or exceed recruitment goals, retired Navy Rear Adm. James Barnett Jr., a member of the officers group, says the obesity trend could affect that.

"When over a quarter of young adults are too fat to fight, we need to take notice," Barnett said. He noted that national security in the year 2030 is "absolutely dependent" on reversing child obesity rates."

Really? This is what this guy is thinking about?

You know how America likes to over react to things, just wait until you will no longer be allowed to bring any junk food onto a plane. Hey, maybe it will be a good thing for us. Fast food places in airports will go away, all over the States they will fail, and Fresh & Easys will pop up on every corner, Jamba Juice will have stands where Mickey D's once stood proudly.

Maybe Jamie Oliver and the girl from the Biggest Loser will become part of the national security team!

Oh America, how I am so embarrassed by your stupidity.

Just sayin'

* a friend of mine commented the title of this on my FB page and it made me laugh out loud, so I used it for the title of today's post *

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